Do I Look Like a Lab Cat To You?

Lately I've been a lab cat. . .not a LAP cat. .. a LAB cat!I've been used as an experiment for Mistress' Veterinary Assistant courses, especially in the History and Physical Examination study unit!Today she was reading and studying about how to carry and lift dogs, then how to carry and prepare cats for. . .uh. . .venipuncture (in regular humanspeak. . SHOTS, and in felinese. . AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!)
She didn't try to give me a shot. With what.. . .her knitting needles?? She did try to get my vital signs though. She grabbed me and felt me up. . .that I didn't mind so much, I even started to lightly purr, which screwed up the BPM count (heart beats per minute), but she finally got it when I was getting a bit fed up with human hands all over me, especially places where human hands do NOT belong! She had a hard time getting my pulse though, while she continued feeling me up, mostly my thigh and upper hindleg. She still couldn't find it, but was reassured that only more experienced vets, techs and assistants can find it. She finally was happy with my BPM, then she checked my reflexes. I guess it checked out okay. She still fiddled with my femur, but finally let me go when I started to protest.
Now I can kinda understand what those lab rats and other animals are going through. I feel so. . .used! Jen said she could practice on Lyndi, so. .. LET HER!Although it's kinda an interesting idea, giving my body (sort of) to science and being used as an educational tool.
But only on MY terms!

A Compliment From My Mistress

Mistress has been very busy lately, that's why I don't write much.
Anyway. . .last weekend, Mistress deserted me.
No, that's not the compliment she paid me! In fact, that was an insult. She left me and her home to go to some place called. . .Itty Bitty. .. oh, no, it's Little Falls! She went with her friend Jen, human to Twinkie and Lyndi. Lyndi went with them, Twinkie stayed home and the humans joked about Twinkie and me having parties while we were gone. .. you know, like in those Tidy Cats commercials? Twinkie's house Friday night, mine Saturday night.
Yeah, right.
I guess Jen grew up in this Little Falls, it is also where Charles Lindberg grew up, something to do with airplanes. I don't care, the fact is She deserted me!
But she did pay me a nice compliment. Jen closed the doors to her bedroom and bathroom so Twinkie wouldn't make mischief by shredding her precious scrapbooking stuff and drink toilet water. .. ick!
Jen's mom said that the humans would have a big mess to clean up when they got home, implying that us kitties would make a mess. Mistress said "No, I know my Sandy, she's a good girl, she won't mess up my apartment"
*smiles* Thank you, Mistress!
She also did me a favor. They went to Jen's uncle's house one night, I guess Jen's grandpa used to make wooden kitties and Jen wanted to give Mistress some. At the house, Jen and Mistress saw a mama cat and a couple kittens. Jen (the little rat. .. uh, Happy Birthday Jen, I meant!) put a tiny little kitten, just the size of Mistress' hand and Mistress fell in love!
Uh-oh!!
But she was good, she just came home with two kitties. .. wooden kitties that is!
I'm proud of her for that, that little runt would be too young to be pulled away from his mama anyway.
I was a little miffed at her when she got home. She wanted attention and love? Hmmph! I ignored her until she checked out my dish, it was totally empty, not one single kibble left!
She was shocked. She was expecting to see 75% of the food still there!
Well geez, yes after only one night most of the food would still be there, but she was gone for over 48 hours! She came home late too, saying something about late bus, traffic. . .who cares? I'm hungry!
After she fed me and fully unpacked I decided I could sniff her down for interesting scents.

I Hiss, Therefore I am. . . MAD!!!

Okay, okay, I know. .. I haven't written in like FOREVER! But then, who reads my blog anyway, it looks like NO ONE does! Does anyone read it or not??
Anyway, I was mad today, really mad!
Lately Mistress has been staying up kinda late, ever since her birthday (it was May 23rd) when she came home and brought her old TV/VCR (what the heck is a VCR you ask? Look it up!) and especially since she got cable put in that TV before the Big day, which is, BTW, This Friday! She says she loves having cable in the room, so we can snuggle in bed late at night and watch The Golden Girls on Hallmark Channel.
As long as those old girls don't keep me away from Catster and the Late Late Show, especially on Friday nights!
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, so last night Mistress got a new book. She'd just finished the one about Michael Landon, when TADA!! Melissa Gilbert's book came out! It's called Prairie Tail. .. uh, Tale and she really got into it, she read when she got home from her tenant meeting (whatever that is) and even read through all of Golden Girls, Cheers, and I Love Lucy! Then she put a tape in (what's that?) and read through a big part of the tape!
I just sat there staring at her.
Finally she went to sleep, but then she got up again an hour later, then she went back to sleep after I kneaded her to make sure she was going to stay!
She slept and kicked the covers around SO MUCH that I had to leave before she kicked me!
That's not why I hissed though. When the alarm clock went off, she turned Golden Girls on again! (doesn't she ever get sick of that show?) but went back to sleep and woke up while Lucy Ricardo on I Love Lucy was trying to play her saxophone (what a way to wake up!) the covers were also half on the floor!
She finally got up, talking to someone on the phone for almost two hours, then ran around like a nut, trying to get dressed, cleaning up the mess that was the bed, stuff like that.
Her company came early and she buzzed the lady in. I stood still until she let the lady in. I did run out and ran under a chair, but then she wanted the lady, Melanie, to meet me, so I ran like there was no tomorrow!
She caught me. .. by the tail!!
"Meeeeooooowwwwwww!!! Hissssssssss!!! Rooooowwwwww!!" I said.
But did she put me down?
Noooo! The lady had to pet me first!
Good grief, when I finally got free I ran like a cat outta hell and under the bed!
I didn't even come out when she left. That lady I once knew as my Mistress (I disowned her, you know. .. well. .. nah, I guess not) didn't even check on me right away. When she did, though I looked like a sleeping beauty on my puffy blue cloud. I made myself comfy on the freshly made bed and settled in for a long day's nap. I'm still there!
One day I will furgive her. .. it would take less time if she hadn't had to take pictures of me!