Condo Dwelling

I never really considered the kitty condo by the window a "place to hang out." I just thought of it as Squeakers' domain and not mine.Unless you count the time, the day before Squeakers went to the bridge. Mistress was so involved with something else, and also probably worrying about Squeakers, finding jobs, the holidays, all the trivial things humans fret about, that she needed to check on Squeakers. So I jumped onto the top level of the condo and shocked her!It didn't save Squeakers' life though :-(Lately, once in awhile, Mistress has put me on the top of the condo, just put me there! Like, what am I supposed to do up here now? Start knitting?? She says it was so that I would figure out I like it. .. but I think it was because she didn't want me underfoot. Actually, and I wouldn't tell her this, but she actually had a good idea! *gasp* She was. .. . r-r-r-right! *bigger gasp*I LIKE IT! Yes kids and cats. .. She likes it! Sandy likes it!I went there last night before Mistress left the house (there's a level 3 sex offender in the neighborhood and she was going to a meeting about him!) and I was there when she came back, two hours later, and the only time I really came out was when my tummy started to rumble! I came out to eat in the "community dining area" set for tenants of Kitty Condo (okay, kitchen, where I always eat) and after that, I went back to MY condo. .. now it's MY domain! I feel I have Squeakers' purrrmission to take over the housing, after all, I took over her Mommy even before she left! :-)I'm back there today. I came out last night to accompany the Mistress to her sleeping quarters (okay, bed) and when she got up (finally!!) I came out, spent some quality time with her, then went back to my condoI like how that sounds. .. MY CONDO!! Rent free. .. yeah!Actually, it's a purrrfect place to watch the Mistress clean and make a fool out of herself!What more could a cat want?!I never really considered the kitty condo by the window a "place to hang out." I just thought of it as Squeakers' domain and not mine.Unless you count the time, the day before Squeakers went to the bridge. Mistress was so involved with something else, and also probably worrying about Squeakers, finding jobs, the holidays, all the trivial things humans fret about, that she needed to check on Squeakers. So I jumped onto the top level of the condo and shocked her!It didn't save Squeakers' life though :-(Lately, once in awhile, Mistress has put me on the top of the condo, just put me there! Like, what am I supposed to do up here now? Start knitting?? She says it was so that I would figure out I like it. .. but I think it was because she didn't want me underfoot. Actually, and I wouldn't tell her this, but she actually had a good idea! *gasp* She was. .. . r-r-r-right! *bigger gasp*I LIKE IT! Yes kids and cats. .. She likes it! Sandy likes it!I went there last night before Mistress left the house (there's a level 3 sex offender in the neighborhood and she was going to a meeting about him!) and I was there when she came back, two hours later, and the only time I really came out was when my tummy started to rumble! I came out to eat in the "community dining area" set for tenants of Kitty Condo (okay, kitchen, where I always eat) and after that, I went back to MY condo. .. now it's MY domain! I feel I have Squeakers' purrrmission to take over the housing, after all, I took over her Mommy even before she left! :-)I'm back there today. I came out last night to accompany the Mistress to her sleeping quarters (okay, bed) and when she got up (finally!!) I came out, spent some quality time with her, then went back to my condoI like how that sounds. .. MY CONDO!! Rent free. .. yeah!Actually, it's a purrrfect place to watch the Mistress clean and make a fool out of herself!What more could a cat want?!

Don't Ask Me To Be Cute!

Mistress came home and looked for me. .. but couldn't find me!I was somewhere where I never really go (that she knows of) but where Squeakers used to sit all the time. . . On top of the toilet seat (lid down, of course, I don't wanna go body surfing!)She gasped and ran.Then I ranThen she pouted because I ran!What am I, a show cat? Expected to purrrform on cue?She said she wanted to get the camera. .. oh no! She said I looked so cute up there because she got a new tank set for her birthday 6 weeks ago. For kitties who don't remember or know what tank sets are, they are really hard to find and have to be ordered from a catalog. Then when it came, the tank part didn't fit and it had to go to a taylor shop and then Mistress' mom had to come over AGAIN and put it on and cut the hole in it. .. don't know why, but there had to be a hole in it.It's nice and soft and a lot fluffier than the thing that was covering the porcelain water holder before, and it coverst he middle part so I can rub against it all I want!Squeakers used to call that her "thinking place" and she'd even fall asleep there (figures) until she was shooed off.Now she keeps putting me back there and asking me to pose. For what? Stuffonmycat? Snuzzy? The Cat's Meow? Cheezburger? Well, if they want pics of me sitting on a toilet. . .er, "thinking place" . . .furget it! Now cuz she wants it. . .I won't do it.

Do I Look Like a Lab Cat To You?

Lately I've been a lab cat. . .not a LAP cat. .. a LAB cat!I've been used as an experiment for Mistress' Veterinary Assistant courses, especially in the History and Physical Examination study unit!Today she was reading and studying about how to carry and lift dogs, then how to carry and prepare cats for. . .uh. . .venipuncture (in regular humanspeak. . SHOTS, and in felinese. . AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!)
She didn't try to give me a shot. With what.. . .her knitting needles?? She did try to get my vital signs though. She grabbed me and felt me up. . .that I didn't mind so much, I even started to lightly purr, which screwed up the BPM count (heart beats per minute), but she finally got it when I was getting a bit fed up with human hands all over me, especially places where human hands do NOT belong! She had a hard time getting my pulse though, while she continued feeling me up, mostly my thigh and upper hindleg. She still couldn't find it, but was reassured that only more experienced vets, techs and assistants can find it. She finally was happy with my BPM, then she checked my reflexes. I guess it checked out okay. She still fiddled with my femur, but finally let me go when I started to protest.
Now I can kinda understand what those lab rats and other animals are going through. I feel so. . .used! Jen said she could practice on Lyndi, so. .. LET HER!Although it's kinda an interesting idea, giving my body (sort of) to science and being used as an educational tool.
But only on MY terms!

A Compliment From My Mistress

Mistress has been very busy lately, that's why I don't write much.
Anyway. . .last weekend, Mistress deserted me.
No, that's not the compliment she paid me! In fact, that was an insult. She left me and her home to go to some place called. . .Itty Bitty. .. oh, no, it's Little Falls! She went with her friend Jen, human to Twinkie and Lyndi. Lyndi went with them, Twinkie stayed home and the humans joked about Twinkie and me having parties while we were gone. .. you know, like in those Tidy Cats commercials? Twinkie's house Friday night, mine Saturday night.
Yeah, right.
I guess Jen grew up in this Little Falls, it is also where Charles Lindberg grew up, something to do with airplanes. I don't care, the fact is She deserted me!
But she did pay me a nice compliment. Jen closed the doors to her bedroom and bathroom so Twinkie wouldn't make mischief by shredding her precious scrapbooking stuff and drink toilet water. .. ick!
Jen's mom said that the humans would have a big mess to clean up when they got home, implying that us kitties would make a mess. Mistress said "No, I know my Sandy, she's a good girl, she won't mess up my apartment"
*smiles* Thank you, Mistress!
She also did me a favor. They went to Jen's uncle's house one night, I guess Jen's grandpa used to make wooden kitties and Jen wanted to give Mistress some. At the house, Jen and Mistress saw a mama cat and a couple kittens. Jen (the little rat. .. uh, Happy Birthday Jen, I meant!) put a tiny little kitten, just the size of Mistress' hand and Mistress fell in love!
Uh-oh!!
But she was good, she just came home with two kitties. .. wooden kitties that is!
I'm proud of her for that, that little runt would be too young to be pulled away from his mama anyway.
I was a little miffed at her when she got home. She wanted attention and love? Hmmph! I ignored her until she checked out my dish, it was totally empty, not one single kibble left!
She was shocked. She was expecting to see 75% of the food still there!
Well geez, yes after only one night most of the food would still be there, but she was gone for over 48 hours! She came home late too, saying something about late bus, traffic. . .who cares? I'm hungry!
After she fed me and fully unpacked I decided I could sniff her down for interesting scents.

I Hiss, Therefore I am. . . MAD!!!

Okay, okay, I know. .. I haven't written in like FOREVER! But then, who reads my blog anyway, it looks like NO ONE does! Does anyone read it or not??
Anyway, I was mad today, really mad!
Lately Mistress has been staying up kinda late, ever since her birthday (it was May 23rd) when she came home and brought her old TV/VCR (what the heck is a VCR you ask? Look it up!) and especially since she got cable put in that TV before the Big day, which is, BTW, This Friday! She says she loves having cable in the room, so we can snuggle in bed late at night and watch The Golden Girls on Hallmark Channel.
As long as those old girls don't keep me away from Catster and the Late Late Show, especially on Friday nights!
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, so last night Mistress got a new book. She'd just finished the one about Michael Landon, when TADA!! Melissa Gilbert's book came out! It's called Prairie Tail. .. uh, Tale and she really got into it, she read when she got home from her tenant meeting (whatever that is) and even read through all of Golden Girls, Cheers, and I Love Lucy! Then she put a tape in (what's that?) and read through a big part of the tape!
I just sat there staring at her.
Finally she went to sleep, but then she got up again an hour later, then she went back to sleep after I kneaded her to make sure she was going to stay!
She slept and kicked the covers around SO MUCH that I had to leave before she kicked me!
That's not why I hissed though. When the alarm clock went off, she turned Golden Girls on again! (doesn't she ever get sick of that show?) but went back to sleep and woke up while Lucy Ricardo on I Love Lucy was trying to play her saxophone (what a way to wake up!) the covers were also half on the floor!
She finally got up, talking to someone on the phone for almost two hours, then ran around like a nut, trying to get dressed, cleaning up the mess that was the bed, stuff like that.
Her company came early and she buzzed the lady in. I stood still until she let the lady in. I did run out and ran under a chair, but then she wanted the lady, Melanie, to meet me, so I ran like there was no tomorrow!
She caught me. .. by the tail!!
"Meeeeooooowwwwwww!!! Hissssssssss!!! Rooooowwwwww!!" I said.
But did she put me down?
Noooo! The lady had to pet me first!
Good grief, when I finally got free I ran like a cat outta hell and under the bed!
I didn't even come out when she left. That lady I once knew as my Mistress (I disowned her, you know. .. well. .. nah, I guess not) didn't even check on me right away. When she did, though I looked like a sleeping beauty on my puffy blue cloud. I made myself comfy on the freshly made bed and settled in for a long day's nap. I'm still there!
One day I will furgive her. .. it would take less time if she hadn't had to take pictures of me!

My Mistress is a Tease!

A Food tease!
Yesterday she got a toaster over *thanks for the new box to play in and headbonk Mistress!* so today she wanted to go get somelthing to "toast".
She came back with a whole lot too, toaster strudel, waffles, and Fiber One toaster pastries! *eyes bug out* Holy Kat! She even found her favorite Toastwich grilled cheese sandwiches, which is funny cuz 90% of the time Mistress hates sandwiches! :-/
Anyway, the point is she came home with lots of goodies. .. for her. but what about goodies for me?
WAIT!!! I see something! *eyes bug out even more* My favorite Alley Cat food! *claps paws*
I know, Alley Cat is a kind of generic brand, and Mistress used to feed me and Squeakers something a little bit more upscale like Iams. But I was brought up on Alley Cat and I LOVE it!
So I watched her while she finished unpacking and watched while stuff flew out of the freezer, and finally she put the Alley Cat in my food locker while I cheekrubbed the bag, but would she give me any?
One guess!
Nooooo!!!!! She said it's not dinnertime yet, and I first have to finish what is in my bowl now.
That's why my Mistress is a food tease!
I'm hungry
I want fresh Alley Cat.
NOW!!!!!

Purrs, Paws and Purresents for Mistress

I'm such a good nurse, so sweet, no matter what!
Mistress came home from Mother's Day weekend with water running out of her nose. She went to her orientation at the Feline Rescue shelter too, with water running out of her nose on Saturday morning! Ewww!
Monday she was okay, but the floodgates really opened and she really had lots of water, it was really gross! She went to the shelter on Tuesday, but didn't stay cuz she said there were too many people on the bus and she got claws-tro-pho-bic even before she got to the shelter! So she went home and took a nap with me.
I like those days when she acts like me: many naps, doesn't do much, lays around all day. This week she made a great pet!
Even though on Monday she did try and brush my teeth. .. yucky!!
So starting Tuesday, I was on Kitty Nurse duty and I put my nurse's cap on and I kneaded her and purred in her ear, she loves it. I don't like purring in her ear cuz sometimes she has sticky stuff in there! Squeakers used to love that, but not me!
But I did it cuz I'm a good nurse and I got good pay. . .food, clean litter, Greenies, and especially some extra Mistress time!
To thank her, I pulled a "Squeakers."
Squeakers, when she was a kitten used to hide her little toys in Mistress' shoes. She loved it too. But Squeakers gave it up when she got older Except for the week when Mistress had her viral infection and was really sick.
I was there too, I saw it, I saw how much Mistress loved toys in her shoes so when she came down with her cold, I put my little green "thing", my favorite toy, the mouse without a tail, in Mistress' clog!
I thought it would take her forever to find it!
When she finally did, she said "awww!" and wondered if Squeakers suggested (from the Bridge) that I put it in there or if I did it on my own.
Humans, they can't just say "Thank you, Sandy!"
No, so she brought it to me and put it with me in my Morgan's bed.
I didn't wanna sleep with it, and I didn't feel like playing so I kicked it away.
Why, oh why did she have to bring it to me?
Humans don't do grateful well!
So then she wanted me to play with it, later. There is one small point though I WANTED TO SLEEP! I didn't want to play!
So she looked everywhere for a toy that I didn't want right now. Which made me annoyed and I left my comfy bed.
Finally, she found it, in the bedcovers and brought it out to the living room for me to kick around.
There's still one small point .. . I still don't wanna play now!