Rest In Peace Bea Arthur!

For 7 years, she kept saying "God'll get you for that Walter!" as Maude, and who could forget Dorothy Zbornak? She was a great lady and a dynamic actress. We'll all miss her so much.

Mistress was pretty taken aback when she heard about Bea's death, her friend Jennifer called and said "Do you know if Bea Arthur died?" and Mistress didn't know, Jen was just checking it out, seems their mutual friend Jerry heard it, and Jen wanted to check with Mistress, so Mistress googled Bea and it said that, yes indeed, she died peacefully at her home on Saturday, April 25, just a couple weeks short of her 87th birthday.

She also watched the news on Inside Edition, and Hallmark Channel (yes, we are still watching Hallmark as long as Little House is on!) will have a Golden Girls Dorothy-themed marathon, and what do you know? Mistress likes to watch All In The Family once in awhile, while watching Step by Step and The Golden Girls (her morning T.V schedule is a little complicated when she first wakes up) anyway, yesterday and today they had Maude-themed shows on! Which makes Mistress want to watch the one season of Maude that she has on DVD, especially the dynamic two-parter where Maude is pregnant at age 47!

Anyway, she said "God'll getcha for that!", now God has her!

Rest in Peace, Maudie! You'll always be taking the world by storm.

As far as kitty stuff goes, Mistress applied for a volunteer position at the nearby Feline Rescue! OH NOOOOOO!!! I can't forbid her, but well, if she does volunteer, she's gonna come home smelling like other cats! I will have to de-odorize her!

Then she went out with her Mom last night, and it seems that before dinner, they went to a place that had pet supplies, and her Mom was kind enough to get me a Yeowww! Stinky Salmon! Chock-full of catnip!

Thanks Grandma! I licked it and purred my little kitty heart out, and then ignored it and went to sleep. Then later, when Mistress was in bed, I kicked it a little, cuz it was in my way! My little green friend was sitting next to it, and I wanted to get to him!

Birdies!!

It really must be spring now, cuz I've been hearing birdies alot lately, they go "tweetweetweetweet!" Or "Twittertwitter", and I'm not talkin' 'bout the website, don't think many birdies use that!
Well today I actually came face to face with one!
Mistress dragged me out of the bedroom to watch her roll up her rug, and while she was grunting and saying naughty words and cursing me out for possibly peeing on it a long time ago, I meowed, low and threateningly and she stopped and looked at me in the window and stopped and dropped the rug, which then rolled.
Now, we have had pigeons before, so I hear. Squeakers told me that the first year Mistress had Squeakers was also the first year she lived in this apartment, that winter there were loads of them all lined up on our deck! We are on the seventh floor but have a small deck and they all lined up and expected food!
Dirty little .. . I won't say it. .. . okay, I will. .. BIRDS!
At first, Mistress thought "Oh, birds, how sweet!"
Duh!
Until her mom said that they were pigeons and the old lady that lived here before must have had nothing to do but feed them. So they tried everything: shooing them, windchimes, and mothballs, they worked the best, and also tying CD's. . .yes, you read that right. .. CD's! on the railing, I guess they hate shiny things.
But the best, the ABSOLUTE BEST thing, they did, that obviously didn't work. . .Ready?
A friend of hers got a free Corona balloon from the liqour store nearby, it was a star with streamers coming from the points. So, they thought they'd hang it on the patio and it worked, for about three weeks, then one day, Mistress looked outside and the balloon had POPPED! The pigeons, who had been PEEING on it, actually FLEW INTO IT and popped it!
Priceless, just priceless!
Well, Mistress was at the end of her rope and she asked the then Resident Manager what to do and smart aleck that he was said .. "Get a cat!"
Of course she did, and it didn't help. After about two years they realized "Can't get no food here, let's find some poor old lady or man to feed us!" and they left.
Well, today, Mistress was flabbergasted to find a pigeon on our deck. She grabbed the camera to get a movie of me growling at it, but the little bugger flew off.
Good. . .or. .. not?
It came back, just as she got the dang rug into the cart and was about to head out to the laundromat. .. for what? Rug was too big anyway, she almost got a hernia trying to put it into the cart.
She saw it, I meowed. . .calling "action! Grab the camera you dumb human!"
She did and got a movie. . .even though she said a coupla naughty words during it! *gasp*
We got him to go bye-bye after about two minutes of me meowing and her shooing. Then. . .then! just as she was about to leave, the neighbor underneath us yelled "HEY! SHOO!" and some other naughty words!

I love sitting in the window, what action!

"Thanks Alot Sandy"

You're welcome Mistress!
What are you thanking me for? For making us flunk the apartment inspection again? I don't think she can blame me for that!
She says she *sarcastically* thanks me for my peeing on the floor.
but I kindly reminded her that, yes I did pee on the bedroom floor and the bathroom floor, ruining her fluffy rug, but I did not mark the living room rug with my scent!
I also would like to remind her that it was Squeakers that had the kidney problems in the end and Squeakers also left her calling card on some parts of the floor once in a while!
Mistress would try to clean it up as best she could, with some stuff called Oxy-Solution, but the lady still smelled urine!
Funny, Mistress said she didn't smell anything at all. Either she has to find someone to help her clean the carpet or she's going to have to get a citation, not exactly sure what that entails, but it doesn't sound good!
Sometimes when her mom comes over she sniffs and asks "What's that smell?" and Mistress says "I don't smell anything". But she hasn't been over in a long time. She asked Jennifer, her friend if she could smell any kitty urine and she said, "maybe once in awhile, but not very strong."
So now, all the blame lies on my bladder?
Well. . .excuuuuuuse me!!

Happy Earth Day!

Yaaay! It's Earth Day!
And to celebrate it, my little green "friend" that I like to kick around all night?
He came back!
Mistress tripped on him, saying a coupla naughty words in the process, but WHO CARES??
He's back!
I know, I'm like a little kid with a blankie, but other toys. ..well, they're just not the same!
Mistress passed her course on the Digestive, Reproductive and Urinary Systems, but I kept bugging her during the test, I even jumped up on the desk, but I was just so excited that she found my friend!
So excited that I think I knew it was gonna happen. . .and yesterday afternoon, I puked on the carpet!
It's funner and easier to do it that way, and the human gets all grossed out!
At least I didn't puke up (or on) my little green friend!

I Went Outside!

Yep, that's right, I went outside! But, uh, it wasn't my idea! I was simply looking out the window: (above), looking like that "How much is that kitty in the window" song.

Then Mistress said that it was such a nice day, that why don't we go out on the deck?

Now, looking out on the deck from the safe apartment was okay, but actually going out there? Where I could get lost, abducted, okay, so it was only the patio, but I could fall off!

What was she thinking?

Last year she took me out on the deck to Furminate me and I screamed my little kitty head off! She tried to take me out in Squeakers stroller and I screamed my little kitty head off!

Doesn't she get it?

I wanna stay home!! I am NOT Squeakers! I don't like to stroll or go for a walk downstairs and have old ladies pet me or go out on the deck, especially to be Furminated!

I just wanna look out at all the trees, since we're so high (heaven on the 7th floor) I like to be able to look down on the trees and all the teeny little people and the itty bitty cars and dogs and feel the nice breezy air!

I think I was outside for about two and a half minutes, and the whole time I. .. you guessed it, screamed my little kitty head off!

The cars, trucks and busses were so LOUD! And the air was, like right there! I do like listening to the birds though. . .but from INSIDE!

Oh What A Beautiful Meow-ning!

Oh what a bee-yoo-tee-ful day it is!

• The sun is out.
• No rain, snow or any other type of purrcipitation
• Mistress is in a good mood.
• She opened the sliding door so I could look out.
• Her friend over the phone sang "How much is that kitty in the window?"
• Ha ha, very funny!
• Mistress put me on top of the kitty condo so I could look at, and hear the birdies
• I heard a growling noise in the distance
• It scared me off the condo.
• I played Peek-a-boo with Mistress.
• She was on the phone, I was walking around.
• I saw her head peeking over the desk chiar (she was standing up)
• I jumped up on the chair
• She stood up straight, then looked down at me
• I stood on my hind legs and peeked at her.
• She hunched down and peeked at me!
• She stood up
• I stood up and peeked again.
• She wasn't there!
• Where was she?
• She came back and peeked at me!
• I wish that dang buzzing/growling thing would SHUT UP!
• So does Mistress
• Cuz we like having the window open.
• My little green "friend" is missing again.
• I don't care. .. It's a bee-yoo-tee-ful day!
• Sometimes the windchimes tinkle outside
• They sound pretty.
• As long as they don't tinkle inside!
• I tinkled on the floor today.
• Mistress got mad. .. but only for a minute.
• Oxy-Solution to the rescue!
• Have a nice day everykitty!

Little House is BACK!! WHOOHOO!!!!!!!!

Hope everykitty had a nice Easter.

I was all alone, thank you very much. Even Twinkie was busy, hiding from his grandpawrents under the bed! Just like I do when company comes!

Mistress went to her mom's. It was kind of nice having the place all to myself for awhile, kicking the little green blob around, poking my nose where it shouldn't be, stuff like that. She didn't get home until 10:00 last night though! She was very naughty! And she didn't bring me any treats!

And I even met her at the door. See if I ever do that again!

Well. .. okay, I'm not bitter anymore. I was glad she was home. It was nice snuggling with her and having her home.

Then, today, she got up and turned the TV on, she's boycotting Hallmark because of that whole Little House issue. Although on Saturday she gave up her boycott for Annie (with Kathy Bates as Ms. Hannigan. .. Ha ha ha! Carol Burnett did a better job, she was meaner) and while she was gone she recorded the Sarah Plain and Tall trilogy. She didn't want to give up her boycott, and argued with herself, but went through with it, and look! They brought it back!!

It was not one of her faves; a two-parter where Mary had to have an operation and Pa had to work hauling dynamite and work digging ditches so he wouldn't have to sell his farm to pay the bill at the hospital.

But it doesn't matter! Mistress was so happy she was jumping up and down!

Humans, they get so excited over silly little things. Mice, catnip, treats, your human coming home, those are good things to be excited about!

I played a little Easter trick on some of my Catster friends. I gave them an Easter basket gift rosette last Monday, then I gave them each an egg, which I virtually (that's how it works on Catster, everything is virtual) made the egg "boing" into the basket. Until yesterday, then i gave them a little Easter bunny, and I signed it "youdon'tknowhoo, pretty much because we only get 250 letters/characters to a rosette.I also signed the other eggs "The Easter Kitty" Well, on Friday, one of my friends Rocky Ann, guessed who it was, then another kitty friend, the boss of Samoa's Detective Agency (a Catster group that checks out Anonymous Rosette Givers ARG's cases kind of like a real virtual detective agency, and if you don't know anything about Catster, you won't understand this anyway!

Well, on Friday, Rocky Ann and Samoa found me out, cuz dumb old me, I signed one egg LHOTP! How dumb, because Catsters have diaries like I do here, and I transfer my diary here and also put it in Catster! I didn't want RA (Rocky Ann) to find me out before Easter and the Easter bunny rosette, but she did! I sent her a message saying that maybe I was the ARG and maybe I wasn't! Sent that one to Samoa too. they didn't fall for it! Grrr! Well, Mistress left on Saturday, no rosettes were given, and barely yesterday, I talked her into giving just Rocky Ann and Samoa their bunny rosettes.

I was caught, just like a deer in headlights!

At Samoa's Detective Agency every month, there is a DOTM (Detective of the Month), well this month it was a tie between my twin Chai Latte-Capone (above) or Squeakers!

SQUEAKERS????? Squeakers has never solved a case, she helped me be an ARG (Annonymous Rosette Giver) in February, but that's it!

Oh well, she tied with my twin, and nobody voted for the winner, so this month, there were TWO DOTMs!

I'm laughing my fur off!

No Cameras, Please!

This is just awful! What does my human think she's doing with this cat? I mean, I am her cat, not this one!
Oh well, she said she was at her Gram's house last weekend and this cat, who actually is quite purrty, sat on her lap and purred and fell asleep.
Well, okay, but look, my human looks like she's enjoying it! When she got home I had quite a job, to get that cat's scent off my human!
Oh well, I wasn't too mad at my Mistress, after all, she's only human. Getting the scent off her was just all in a day's work for me anyway, look what I'll have to face when she actually becomes a vet assistant! Today she gave me those treats that I used to dislike, called Fit Nip. I hear tell that they actually have catnip in them! When I heard that, I decided to give them a try. They are too big for my little mouth, so Mistress had to break them up for me, but by the third treat, I could've eaten them whole!
They are so good, now I know what I was missing, and the treats, well, one of these days we're going to run out!
Oh no!
I have Feline Greenies too, and I like them, but these Fit Nip treats are great and they really make me wanna play! Mistress gave them to me when we were still listening to John Tesh's radio show. If John Tesh gave Mistress the idea to give me a treat. .. Thank you Johnny! After the show we went into the living room and I found my little green "thing"! I thought I'd never find him again! He'd been missing for at least two weeks! He's a tail-less blob that used to be a mouse but I think I bit off his feather tail, and then he went MIA! So I started batting him around and racing around trying to catch him.
Then Jennifer and Lyndi came, and I went MIA!
After they left, I slept for awhile, but came back out and played some more Mouse Hockey. I was doing really well too, then Mistress got her camera out and wanted to take movies of me playing!
I put up with it for about 20 seconds, then I pulled a Squeakers. .. I looked up at her, looked at the toy and looked up at her again like "What am I supposed to do with this?"
She got tired of holding the camera, so she turned it off and went back to her computer or TV or whatever.
The hockey game was resumed! I bat at the mouse and tried to catch it and she grabbed the camera again.
I stopped and just stared at her again.
This went on for about 15 minutes: Camera on, wait in silence while we stare each other down, camera off, mouse hockey game on, second verse same as the first!
Finally I gave up and walked around and she tried to get me to play fetch. .. do I look like a dog? Then she tried to get me to play with some other toy, in front of the camera.
Ha! It ain't gonna work, sistah!
She got tired of it first, then I stared her down while she was on the computer and when I tired of that I went to my "chambers" to take a nap.
I will not perform on camera! If you want me, call my agent!

April Fools!

Okay, so it's a day late. .. sue me!
Anyway, I played a great trick on my Mistress yesterday!
She was drinking a cup of cocoa, it seemed with all this windy weather, she had a hard time getting warm, I don't know what she was talking about, I was purrrfectly comfy!
So while she was sitting on the sofa, drinking her cocoa, I wanted to smell it, so she was going to put it down, she said cocoa was deathly dangerous for us kitties!
Chill, human! I didn't want to drink it, I just wanted to annoy you!
So while she was putting it down, I bumped her hand and cocoa went all over her shirt! Well, actually, not all over, there were just a couple spots on her shirt, and she got the stains out already.
"Saaaannnnddeeeeeeeee!!!" she yelled. I don't like yelling!
Well, she thought there was some cocoa on, uh, my backend, which was facing her at the time (and she deserved to see it, too!) So she actually felt my rump to make sure it wasn't wet! Eeeeuuuuww!!
It wasn't wet, then she saw her shirt
Ha ha ha! April Fools Mistress!!

Other April Fools jokes were played too. Mistress went on the Hallmark Channel site to do her daily whining *coughs* uh, requesting that Little House be put back in it's original spot each day, and some person wrote on a forum heading that Little House would be put back by May 4th! Well, my silly human fell for it, clicked on the forum to open it and read more, all happy and relieved, and what do you know? It was a joke!
She was not happy again *sigh* She's been watching the Little House DVDs like a maniac, Oh well, I think tonight we won't have to watch them.
Another joke was the HUGE computer virus that was supposed to happen, emails and messages were going out, even Mistress fell for it and tried to download the protective patch thingy, but her computer knew better, it didn't fall for it!
I guess our computer is smarter than my human! If only the computer could feed me!
Then, the best one, I think ... . Jen, Mistress' friend, put fake poo on the rug outside her door, and some human fell for it!
Not mine, of course. It wasn't Lyndi's poo, it was fake!
What a great joke, I hope they come up with fake kitty poo next year!

But, seriously, aren't kitties more mature? We don't fall for, or pull April fools. .. except for the cocoa bit, that was funny!
Oh yeah, another April Fool's joke, but it didn't seem to faze Mistress, but it kinda freaked me out. Early yesterday morning, they pulled something in the building and it made what Squeakers used to call "That whoop whoop noise." No, she used to call it "That whOOP whOOP noise!" That's what it sounds like too! I didn't like it at all! It disrupted a purrfectly good catnap! Mistress just said they were testing the sprinklers and fire alarms in the building. .. which, I suppose explained why she didn't run out the door! At least it didn't last long.