Condo Dwelling

I never really considered the kitty condo by the window a "place to hang out." I just thought of it as Squeakers' domain and not mine.Unless you count the time, the day before Squeakers went to the bridge. Mistress was so involved with something else, and also probably worrying about Squeakers, finding jobs, the holidays, all the trivial things humans fret about, that she needed to check on Squeakers. So I jumped onto the top level of the condo and shocked her!It didn't save Squeakers' life though :-(Lately, once in awhile, Mistress has put me on the top of the condo, just put me there! Like, what am I supposed to do up here now? Start knitting?? She says it was so that I would figure out I like it. .. but I think it was because she didn't want me underfoot. Actually, and I wouldn't tell her this, but she actually had a good idea! *gasp* She was. .. . r-r-r-right! *bigger gasp*I LIKE IT! Yes kids and cats. .. She likes it! Sandy likes it!I went there last night before Mistress left the house (there's a level 3 sex offender in the neighborhood and she was going to a meeting about him!) and I was there when she came back, two hours later, and the only time I really came out was when my tummy started to rumble! I came out to eat in the "community dining area" set for tenants of Kitty Condo (okay, kitchen, where I always eat) and after that, I went back to MY condo. .. now it's MY domain! I feel I have Squeakers' purrrmission to take over the housing, after all, I took over her Mommy even before she left! :-)I'm back there today. I came out last night to accompany the Mistress to her sleeping quarters (okay, bed) and when she got up (finally!!) I came out, spent some quality time with her, then went back to my condoI like how that sounds. .. MY CONDO!! Rent free. .. yeah!Actually, it's a purrrfect place to watch the Mistress clean and make a fool out of herself!What more could a cat want?!I never really considered the kitty condo by the window a "place to hang out." I just thought of it as Squeakers' domain and not mine.Unless you count the time, the day before Squeakers went to the bridge. Mistress was so involved with something else, and also probably worrying about Squeakers, finding jobs, the holidays, all the trivial things humans fret about, that she needed to check on Squeakers. So I jumped onto the top level of the condo and shocked her!It didn't save Squeakers' life though :-(Lately, once in awhile, Mistress has put me on the top of the condo, just put me there! Like, what am I supposed to do up here now? Start knitting?? She says it was so that I would figure out I like it. .. but I think it was because she didn't want me underfoot. Actually, and I wouldn't tell her this, but she actually had a good idea! *gasp* She was. .. . r-r-r-right! *bigger gasp*I LIKE IT! Yes kids and cats. .. She likes it! Sandy likes it!I went there last night before Mistress left the house (there's a level 3 sex offender in the neighborhood and she was going to a meeting about him!) and I was there when she came back, two hours later, and the only time I really came out was when my tummy started to rumble! I came out to eat in the "community dining area" set for tenants of Kitty Condo (okay, kitchen, where I always eat) and after that, I went back to MY condo. .. now it's MY domain! I feel I have Squeakers' purrrmission to take over the housing, after all, I took over her Mommy even before she left! :-)I'm back there today. I came out last night to accompany the Mistress to her sleeping quarters (okay, bed) and when she got up (finally!!) I came out, spent some quality time with her, then went back to my condoI like how that sounds. .. MY CONDO!! Rent free. .. yeah!Actually, it's a purrrfect place to watch the Mistress clean and make a fool out of herself!What more could a cat want?!

Don't Ask Me To Be Cute!

Mistress came home and looked for me. .. but couldn't find me!I was somewhere where I never really go (that she knows of) but where Squeakers used to sit all the time. . . On top of the toilet seat (lid down, of course, I don't wanna go body surfing!)She gasped and ran.Then I ranThen she pouted because I ran!What am I, a show cat? Expected to purrrform on cue?She said she wanted to get the camera. .. oh no! She said I looked so cute up there because she got a new tank set for her birthday 6 weeks ago. For kitties who don't remember or know what tank sets are, they are really hard to find and have to be ordered from a catalog. Then when it came, the tank part didn't fit and it had to go to a taylor shop and then Mistress' mom had to come over AGAIN and put it on and cut the hole in it. .. don't know why, but there had to be a hole in it.It's nice and soft and a lot fluffier than the thing that was covering the porcelain water holder before, and it coverst he middle part so I can rub against it all I want!Squeakers used to call that her "thinking place" and she'd even fall asleep there (figures) until she was shooed off.Now she keeps putting me back there and asking me to pose. For what? Stuffonmycat? Snuzzy? The Cat's Meow? Cheezburger? Well, if they want pics of me sitting on a toilet. . .er, "thinking place" . . .furget it! Now cuz she wants it. . .I won't do it.

Do I Look Like a Lab Cat To You?

Lately I've been a lab cat. . .not a LAP cat. .. a LAB cat!I've been used as an experiment for Mistress' Veterinary Assistant courses, especially in the History and Physical Examination study unit!Today she was reading and studying about how to carry and lift dogs, then how to carry and prepare cats for. . .uh. . .venipuncture (in regular humanspeak. . SHOTS, and in felinese. . AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!)
She didn't try to give me a shot. With what.. . .her knitting needles?? She did try to get my vital signs though. She grabbed me and felt me up. . .that I didn't mind so much, I even started to lightly purr, which screwed up the BPM count (heart beats per minute), but she finally got it when I was getting a bit fed up with human hands all over me, especially places where human hands do NOT belong! She had a hard time getting my pulse though, while she continued feeling me up, mostly my thigh and upper hindleg. She still couldn't find it, but was reassured that only more experienced vets, techs and assistants can find it. She finally was happy with my BPM, then she checked my reflexes. I guess it checked out okay. She still fiddled with my femur, but finally let me go when I started to protest.
Now I can kinda understand what those lab rats and other animals are going through. I feel so. . .used! Jen said she could practice on Lyndi, so. .. LET HER!Although it's kinda an interesting idea, giving my body (sort of) to science and being used as an educational tool.
But only on MY terms!

A Compliment From My Mistress

Mistress has been very busy lately, that's why I don't write much.
Anyway. . .last weekend, Mistress deserted me.
No, that's not the compliment she paid me! In fact, that was an insult. She left me and her home to go to some place called. . .Itty Bitty. .. oh, no, it's Little Falls! She went with her friend Jen, human to Twinkie and Lyndi. Lyndi went with them, Twinkie stayed home and the humans joked about Twinkie and me having parties while we were gone. .. you know, like in those Tidy Cats commercials? Twinkie's house Friday night, mine Saturday night.
Yeah, right.
I guess Jen grew up in this Little Falls, it is also where Charles Lindberg grew up, something to do with airplanes. I don't care, the fact is She deserted me!
But she did pay me a nice compliment. Jen closed the doors to her bedroom and bathroom so Twinkie wouldn't make mischief by shredding her precious scrapbooking stuff and drink toilet water. .. ick!
Jen's mom said that the humans would have a big mess to clean up when they got home, implying that us kitties would make a mess. Mistress said "No, I know my Sandy, she's a good girl, she won't mess up my apartment"
*smiles* Thank you, Mistress!
She also did me a favor. They went to Jen's uncle's house one night, I guess Jen's grandpa used to make wooden kitties and Jen wanted to give Mistress some. At the house, Jen and Mistress saw a mama cat and a couple kittens. Jen (the little rat. .. uh, Happy Birthday Jen, I meant!) put a tiny little kitten, just the size of Mistress' hand and Mistress fell in love!
Uh-oh!!
But she was good, she just came home with two kitties. .. wooden kitties that is!
I'm proud of her for that, that little runt would be too young to be pulled away from his mama anyway.
I was a little miffed at her when she got home. She wanted attention and love? Hmmph! I ignored her until she checked out my dish, it was totally empty, not one single kibble left!
She was shocked. She was expecting to see 75% of the food still there!
Well geez, yes after only one night most of the food would still be there, but she was gone for over 48 hours! She came home late too, saying something about late bus, traffic. . .who cares? I'm hungry!
After she fed me and fully unpacked I decided I could sniff her down for interesting scents.

I Hiss, Therefore I am. . . MAD!!!

Okay, okay, I know. .. I haven't written in like FOREVER! But then, who reads my blog anyway, it looks like NO ONE does! Does anyone read it or not??
Anyway, I was mad today, really mad!
Lately Mistress has been staying up kinda late, ever since her birthday (it was May 23rd) when she came home and brought her old TV/VCR (what the heck is a VCR you ask? Look it up!) and especially since she got cable put in that TV before the Big day, which is, BTW, This Friday! She says she loves having cable in the room, so we can snuggle in bed late at night and watch The Golden Girls on Hallmark Channel.
As long as those old girls don't keep me away from Catster and the Late Late Show, especially on Friday nights!
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, so last night Mistress got a new book. She'd just finished the one about Michael Landon, when TADA!! Melissa Gilbert's book came out! It's called Prairie Tail. .. uh, Tale and she really got into it, she read when she got home from her tenant meeting (whatever that is) and even read through all of Golden Girls, Cheers, and I Love Lucy! Then she put a tape in (what's that?) and read through a big part of the tape!
I just sat there staring at her.
Finally she went to sleep, but then she got up again an hour later, then she went back to sleep after I kneaded her to make sure she was going to stay!
She slept and kicked the covers around SO MUCH that I had to leave before she kicked me!
That's not why I hissed though. When the alarm clock went off, she turned Golden Girls on again! (doesn't she ever get sick of that show?) but went back to sleep and woke up while Lucy Ricardo on I Love Lucy was trying to play her saxophone (what a way to wake up!) the covers were also half on the floor!
She finally got up, talking to someone on the phone for almost two hours, then ran around like a nut, trying to get dressed, cleaning up the mess that was the bed, stuff like that.
Her company came early and she buzzed the lady in. I stood still until she let the lady in. I did run out and ran under a chair, but then she wanted the lady, Melanie, to meet me, so I ran like there was no tomorrow!
She caught me. .. by the tail!!
"Meeeeooooowwwwwww!!! Hissssssssss!!! Rooooowwwwww!!" I said.
But did she put me down?
Noooo! The lady had to pet me first!
Good grief, when I finally got free I ran like a cat outta hell and under the bed!
I didn't even come out when she left. That lady I once knew as my Mistress (I disowned her, you know. .. well. .. nah, I guess not) didn't even check on me right away. When she did, though I looked like a sleeping beauty on my puffy blue cloud. I made myself comfy on the freshly made bed and settled in for a long day's nap. I'm still there!
One day I will furgive her. .. it would take less time if she hadn't had to take pictures of me!

My Mistress is a Tease!

A Food tease!
Yesterday she got a toaster over *thanks for the new box to play in and headbonk Mistress!* so today she wanted to go get somelthing to "toast".
She came back with a whole lot too, toaster strudel, waffles, and Fiber One toaster pastries! *eyes bug out* Holy Kat! She even found her favorite Toastwich grilled cheese sandwiches, which is funny cuz 90% of the time Mistress hates sandwiches! :-/
Anyway, the point is she came home with lots of goodies. .. for her. but what about goodies for me?
WAIT!!! I see something! *eyes bug out even more* My favorite Alley Cat food! *claps paws*
I know, Alley Cat is a kind of generic brand, and Mistress used to feed me and Squeakers something a little bit more upscale like Iams. But I was brought up on Alley Cat and I LOVE it!
So I watched her while she finished unpacking and watched while stuff flew out of the freezer, and finally she put the Alley Cat in my food locker while I cheekrubbed the bag, but would she give me any?
One guess!
Nooooo!!!!! She said it's not dinnertime yet, and I first have to finish what is in my bowl now.
That's why my Mistress is a food tease!
I'm hungry
I want fresh Alley Cat.
NOW!!!!!

Purrs, Paws and Purresents for Mistress

I'm such a good nurse, so sweet, no matter what!
Mistress came home from Mother's Day weekend with water running out of her nose. She went to her orientation at the Feline Rescue shelter too, with water running out of her nose on Saturday morning! Ewww!
Monday she was okay, but the floodgates really opened and she really had lots of water, it was really gross! She went to the shelter on Tuesday, but didn't stay cuz she said there were too many people on the bus and she got claws-tro-pho-bic even before she got to the shelter! So she went home and took a nap with me.
I like those days when she acts like me: many naps, doesn't do much, lays around all day. This week she made a great pet!
Even though on Monday she did try and brush my teeth. .. yucky!!
So starting Tuesday, I was on Kitty Nurse duty and I put my nurse's cap on and I kneaded her and purred in her ear, she loves it. I don't like purring in her ear cuz sometimes she has sticky stuff in there! Squeakers used to love that, but not me!
But I did it cuz I'm a good nurse and I got good pay. . .food, clean litter, Greenies, and especially some extra Mistress time!
To thank her, I pulled a "Squeakers."
Squeakers, when she was a kitten used to hide her little toys in Mistress' shoes. She loved it too. But Squeakers gave it up when she got older Except for the week when Mistress had her viral infection and was really sick.
I was there too, I saw it, I saw how much Mistress loved toys in her shoes so when she came down with her cold, I put my little green "thing", my favorite toy, the mouse without a tail, in Mistress' clog!
I thought it would take her forever to find it!
When she finally did, she said "awww!" and wondered if Squeakers suggested (from the Bridge) that I put it in there or if I did it on my own.
Humans, they can't just say "Thank you, Sandy!"
No, so she brought it to me and put it with me in my Morgan's bed.
I didn't wanna sleep with it, and I didn't feel like playing so I kicked it away.
Why, oh why did she have to bring it to me?
Humans don't do grateful well!
So then she wanted me to play with it, later. There is one small point though I WANTED TO SLEEP! I didn't want to play!
So she looked everywhere for a toy that I didn't want right now. Which made me annoyed and I left my comfy bed.
Finally, she found it, in the bedcovers and brought it out to the living room for me to kick around.
There's still one small point .. . I still don't wanna play now!

Has It Been Two Years Already?

That was me, 2 years ago, about a day after I moved into my new forever home. Don't I look scared to death?
Yep, as of about 8:30-ish tonight, it'll be two years since that foster lady brought me over, put me in this strange, short lady's arms. I stayed in her arms for about a minute, then I ran off and hid behind the sofa! I was a scaredy cat all right!
It also has been about two years and about 2-3 days since that mean man tried to shoot me. His mother had broken her hip and had to move in with her son, and the other son was gonna take me out and shoot me! Well, they say everyone has a hero, mine was a nice foster lady who took me in for the weekend.
Then, Linda, the foster lady, met my now-Mistress' friend Jennifer at the chiropractor's office. Jen had had Lyndi, the guide dog with her, so they started talking about pets and Linda mentioned me, about how I am so shy and docile and she had to pet me to get me to eat. Well, Jen mentioned Mistress, who was looking for another cat to share her home with, I guess Squeakers just wasn't enough.
She wanted to go to Petsmart's adoption fair thing, but started to feel nervous, like it just wasn't right, not the right time or situation, and also, the driver taking them had had a flat tire! So Jen, knowing that Mistress wanted a new kitty, mentioned it to Linda and Linda gave Jen her number and Jen emailed Mistress.
When Mistress got home from work and looked at her emails, she was kinda of paralyzed. She calls it "fate". She stared at the words for fifteen minutes and then before she knew it, she felt herself pick up the phone, she felt like another "force" was guiding her to that decision, now we all know why. Because Squeakers wouldn't live that long and Mistress needed a kitty, and it would give me a year and a half to get used to her and my new home before I could take over as Alpha Cat.
Actually it only took four months! By the end of the summer of '07 I was bossing Squeakers around and giving her what for if she didn't obey, and bapping her on the nose for no reason!
Anyway, Linda wasn't home when she first called, so Mistress left a message. Linda called back about an hour later, but she couldn't bring me over yet, there was only one car and it seemed her husband had it. Anyway, by 7:30, Linda called back and said she was on her way.
Mistress had only the one litterbox and food dish and also the water fountain, so she had Linda bring my old box with her, plus my favorite Alley Cat food, some goat's milk (I love that) and some clay litter.
Mistress could hear me coming as soon as Linda and I got off the elevator! She thought "That must be my new kitty!" and she met us at the door.
When I met Squeakers. . .well, there was a whole lotta hissin' goin' on! I mean, two female cats in one little apartment? HISSSSS!!!
So when I came out from behind the sofa, after Linda had left, I ran right from the sofa to under the bed! I rarely came out for food and potty breaks for the next few days. . actually, for the next couple months!
At first, Mistress had to pet me to get me to eat, The closed-off bedroom was my area, the food, water and litterbox were in there. The next day she left for work, leaving the bedroom door open for Squeakers and me to get used to each other, but of course, Squeakers thought my food was hers and the litterbox was hers also!
What a brat!
After work, she went to Petsmart to get me my own dishes and kept the door to the bedroom closed for awhile.
The night that I came, Mistress woke bolt upright at 3:30 a.m and started to worry about me! She was so concerned because I wouldn't come out from under the bed, and she was excited that she had a new kitty. . .she was unfortunately up for the day.
The second night she was pooped. After work and a trip to Petsmart she wanted to spend some time with me, and Squeakers alike. So first she took some books out of her room, books about cats, and read about Siamese cats, she'd never had one before. Then around 9:30 she came in to my area and flopped down on the bed, exhausted. After I realized Squeakers wasn't going to be there, I hopped up on the bed and cuddled with her, and I started to knead!
Oh she was so thrilled! If a human could purr, she would've been purring! Oh it took some time and patience, but I came out of my shell a little each day.
Mother's Day was a problem though. Mother's Day was about five days after I came. Mistress was wondering what to do about me, she wanted to spend the weekend at her Mom's house. So she kept me in the bedroom, but she kept the door open. . .that wasn't a good idea! Jennifer came up to see that we had enough food and to see me, but I wouldn't come out, and she was concerned that Squeakers, the little piggy, was eating all my food, so she closed the bedroom door.
That summer I spent a lot of time in that bedroom, the only bedroom, and we just had to adjust to each other, Mistress too. She kept moving my litterbox around and I thought it should be in the bathroom, so I began to pee on her nice fluffy rug in the bathroom! She got really frustrated, but she just wanted to please me too. Finally she took the rug out and put the litterbox in the bathroom. Oh, it still moves around, the room is so small that she has to move it back into the bedroom when she takes a shower. Sometimes, like today, when she has to use her litterbox,s he walks in on me using my litterbox! Today I had to go so bad I didn't care who was there!
Mistress loves me so much, she can talk to me, she loves it when I knead, she loves it when I sit on her lap, let's face it, when she looks at me her heart melts!
She calls me her "soul mate" and says "Squeakers was my pal, Sandy is my lover."
Whatever that means!

Be Kind To Animals. . .and to Sandy Week!

Wow, this is a great week!

It is, after all, Be Kind to Animals Week, Cinco De Mayo, My Gotcha Day, Birthday, Catster Annifursary and Mother's Day All rolled into one week!

There is barely any time to take a mere 20-hour nap!

And we're just getting started!! Mistress has a lot going too, I guess. Thursday's her beepball game in front of 2,500 people including her Gram, Gramps and Aunt Sandy, Saturday she starts volunteering at that place with all the cats, the Feline Rescue, then, after she gets home, smelling of the scent of feline (not necessarily a bad smell, mind you), she's gonna ditch me and go to her Mom's for Mother's Day! I'll barely have time to de-odorize her!

Oh, and she got an 88 on one of her hardest courses, Nervous System,Sensory Organs and Endocrine System *falls over from exhaustion* How she did it, I'll never know. . .and uh I really don't care, but anyway. . .I don't even understand any of it!

On a more serious note: This week is Be Kind To Animals Week. I had Mistress join a group on Facebook, about stopping purrrsons from "crushing" animals, and one about stopping people from "skinning" animals! Humans can be so incredibly cruel!

She read about a lady who was holding her tortie cat, and petting her lovingly, then put her down on the ground and stepped on her kitty, crushing the kitty, on the face, with her stiletto shoe .. .on purpose!!!

One time she started to watch a video on YouTube, and then there was one today on another animal cruelty prevention site where people in China tied cats (in one video, in the other it was dogs) to a tree and skinned them alive!!

She couldn't even watch 30 seconds of it without bawling her head off and turning it off immediately.

Now, humans can be so great. After all, mommies, and daddies too, and little kids, take us in, feed us, clean our boxes, pet us, help us when we're sick, take us to the vet, think about us, write about us, make our Catster/Dogster/blogger/Facebook pages, and pretty much love us to death until we are at the Bridge. Once in a while twofers can get kinda annoying with their overexuberance, especially if it interupts a nice nap, but we love them so much too. All us four-leggers (even if cats don't act quite as affectionate as dogs) want to do is love humans, play with them, nuzzle and knead them, help lower their blood pressure, and just be there for them, and what do some sicko humans do?

What is my point, you ask? Well, here are a few things that even the smallest twofer can do to help animals, not only just on Be Kind to Animals Week, but all year through!

1) Speak out for animals
2) Report animal abuse
3) Appreciate wildlife
4) Adopt a pet from a shelter or rescue
5) Take care of their pets
Please visit American Humane's BKAW page for more information.

Rest In Peace Bea Arthur!

For 7 years, she kept saying "God'll get you for that Walter!" as Maude, and who could forget Dorothy Zbornak? She was a great lady and a dynamic actress. We'll all miss her so much.

Mistress was pretty taken aback when she heard about Bea's death, her friend Jennifer called and said "Do you know if Bea Arthur died?" and Mistress didn't know, Jen was just checking it out, seems their mutual friend Jerry heard it, and Jen wanted to check with Mistress, so Mistress googled Bea and it said that, yes indeed, she died peacefully at her home on Saturday, April 25, just a couple weeks short of her 87th birthday.

She also watched the news on Inside Edition, and Hallmark Channel (yes, we are still watching Hallmark as long as Little House is on!) will have a Golden Girls Dorothy-themed marathon, and what do you know? Mistress likes to watch All In The Family once in awhile, while watching Step by Step and The Golden Girls (her morning T.V schedule is a little complicated when she first wakes up) anyway, yesterday and today they had Maude-themed shows on! Which makes Mistress want to watch the one season of Maude that she has on DVD, especially the dynamic two-parter where Maude is pregnant at age 47!

Anyway, she said "God'll getcha for that!", now God has her!

Rest in Peace, Maudie! You'll always be taking the world by storm.

As far as kitty stuff goes, Mistress applied for a volunteer position at the nearby Feline Rescue! OH NOOOOOO!!! I can't forbid her, but well, if she does volunteer, she's gonna come home smelling like other cats! I will have to de-odorize her!

Then she went out with her Mom last night, and it seems that before dinner, they went to a place that had pet supplies, and her Mom was kind enough to get me a Yeowww! Stinky Salmon! Chock-full of catnip!

Thanks Grandma! I licked it and purred my little kitty heart out, and then ignored it and went to sleep. Then later, when Mistress was in bed, I kicked it a little, cuz it was in my way! My little green friend was sitting next to it, and I wanted to get to him!

Birdies!!

It really must be spring now, cuz I've been hearing birdies alot lately, they go "tweetweetweetweet!" Or "Twittertwitter", and I'm not talkin' 'bout the website, don't think many birdies use that!
Well today I actually came face to face with one!
Mistress dragged me out of the bedroom to watch her roll up her rug, and while she was grunting and saying naughty words and cursing me out for possibly peeing on it a long time ago, I meowed, low and threateningly and she stopped and looked at me in the window and stopped and dropped the rug, which then rolled.
Now, we have had pigeons before, so I hear. Squeakers told me that the first year Mistress had Squeakers was also the first year she lived in this apartment, that winter there were loads of them all lined up on our deck! We are on the seventh floor but have a small deck and they all lined up and expected food!
Dirty little .. . I won't say it. .. . okay, I will. .. BIRDS!
At first, Mistress thought "Oh, birds, how sweet!"
Duh!
Until her mom said that they were pigeons and the old lady that lived here before must have had nothing to do but feed them. So they tried everything: shooing them, windchimes, and mothballs, they worked the best, and also tying CD's. . .yes, you read that right. .. CD's! on the railing, I guess they hate shiny things.
But the best, the ABSOLUTE BEST thing, they did, that obviously didn't work. . .Ready?
A friend of hers got a free Corona balloon from the liqour store nearby, it was a star with streamers coming from the points. So, they thought they'd hang it on the patio and it worked, for about three weeks, then one day, Mistress looked outside and the balloon had POPPED! The pigeons, who had been PEEING on it, actually FLEW INTO IT and popped it!
Priceless, just priceless!
Well, Mistress was at the end of her rope and she asked the then Resident Manager what to do and smart aleck that he was said .. "Get a cat!"
Of course she did, and it didn't help. After about two years they realized "Can't get no food here, let's find some poor old lady or man to feed us!" and they left.
Well, today, Mistress was flabbergasted to find a pigeon on our deck. She grabbed the camera to get a movie of me growling at it, but the little bugger flew off.
Good. . .or. .. not?
It came back, just as she got the dang rug into the cart and was about to head out to the laundromat. .. for what? Rug was too big anyway, she almost got a hernia trying to put it into the cart.
She saw it, I meowed. . .calling "action! Grab the camera you dumb human!"
She did and got a movie. . .even though she said a coupla naughty words during it! *gasp*
We got him to go bye-bye after about two minutes of me meowing and her shooing. Then. . .then! just as she was about to leave, the neighbor underneath us yelled "HEY! SHOO!" and some other naughty words!

I love sitting in the window, what action!

"Thanks Alot Sandy"

You're welcome Mistress!
What are you thanking me for? For making us flunk the apartment inspection again? I don't think she can blame me for that!
She says she *sarcastically* thanks me for my peeing on the floor.
but I kindly reminded her that, yes I did pee on the bedroom floor and the bathroom floor, ruining her fluffy rug, but I did not mark the living room rug with my scent!
I also would like to remind her that it was Squeakers that had the kidney problems in the end and Squeakers also left her calling card on some parts of the floor once in a while!
Mistress would try to clean it up as best she could, with some stuff called Oxy-Solution, but the lady still smelled urine!
Funny, Mistress said she didn't smell anything at all. Either she has to find someone to help her clean the carpet or she's going to have to get a citation, not exactly sure what that entails, but it doesn't sound good!
Sometimes when her mom comes over she sniffs and asks "What's that smell?" and Mistress says "I don't smell anything". But she hasn't been over in a long time. She asked Jennifer, her friend if she could smell any kitty urine and she said, "maybe once in awhile, but not very strong."
So now, all the blame lies on my bladder?
Well. . .excuuuuuuse me!!

Happy Earth Day!

Yaaay! It's Earth Day!
And to celebrate it, my little green "friend" that I like to kick around all night?
He came back!
Mistress tripped on him, saying a coupla naughty words in the process, but WHO CARES??
He's back!
I know, I'm like a little kid with a blankie, but other toys. ..well, they're just not the same!
Mistress passed her course on the Digestive, Reproductive and Urinary Systems, but I kept bugging her during the test, I even jumped up on the desk, but I was just so excited that she found my friend!
So excited that I think I knew it was gonna happen. . .and yesterday afternoon, I puked on the carpet!
It's funner and easier to do it that way, and the human gets all grossed out!
At least I didn't puke up (or on) my little green friend!

I Went Outside!

Yep, that's right, I went outside! But, uh, it wasn't my idea! I was simply looking out the window: (above), looking like that "How much is that kitty in the window" song.

Then Mistress said that it was such a nice day, that why don't we go out on the deck?

Now, looking out on the deck from the safe apartment was okay, but actually going out there? Where I could get lost, abducted, okay, so it was only the patio, but I could fall off!

What was she thinking?

Last year she took me out on the deck to Furminate me and I screamed my little kitty head off! She tried to take me out in Squeakers stroller and I screamed my little kitty head off!

Doesn't she get it?

I wanna stay home!! I am NOT Squeakers! I don't like to stroll or go for a walk downstairs and have old ladies pet me or go out on the deck, especially to be Furminated!

I just wanna look out at all the trees, since we're so high (heaven on the 7th floor) I like to be able to look down on the trees and all the teeny little people and the itty bitty cars and dogs and feel the nice breezy air!

I think I was outside for about two and a half minutes, and the whole time I. .. you guessed it, screamed my little kitty head off!

The cars, trucks and busses were so LOUD! And the air was, like right there! I do like listening to the birds though. . .but from INSIDE!

Oh What A Beautiful Meow-ning!

Oh what a bee-yoo-tee-ful day it is!

• The sun is out.
• No rain, snow or any other type of purrcipitation
• Mistress is in a good mood.
• She opened the sliding door so I could look out.
• Her friend over the phone sang "How much is that kitty in the window?"
• Ha ha, very funny!
• Mistress put me on top of the kitty condo so I could look at, and hear the birdies
• I heard a growling noise in the distance
• It scared me off the condo.
• I played Peek-a-boo with Mistress.
• She was on the phone, I was walking around.
• I saw her head peeking over the desk chiar (she was standing up)
• I jumped up on the chair
• She stood up straight, then looked down at me
• I stood on my hind legs and peeked at her.
• She hunched down and peeked at me!
• She stood up
• I stood up and peeked again.
• She wasn't there!
• Where was she?
• She came back and peeked at me!
• I wish that dang buzzing/growling thing would SHUT UP!
• So does Mistress
• Cuz we like having the window open.
• My little green "friend" is missing again.
• I don't care. .. It's a bee-yoo-tee-ful day!
• Sometimes the windchimes tinkle outside
• They sound pretty.
• As long as they don't tinkle inside!
• I tinkled on the floor today.
• Mistress got mad. .. but only for a minute.
• Oxy-Solution to the rescue!
• Have a nice day everykitty!

Little House is BACK!! WHOOHOO!!!!!!!!

Hope everykitty had a nice Easter.

I was all alone, thank you very much. Even Twinkie was busy, hiding from his grandpawrents under the bed! Just like I do when company comes!

Mistress went to her mom's. It was kind of nice having the place all to myself for awhile, kicking the little green blob around, poking my nose where it shouldn't be, stuff like that. She didn't get home until 10:00 last night though! She was very naughty! And she didn't bring me any treats!

And I even met her at the door. See if I ever do that again!

Well. .. okay, I'm not bitter anymore. I was glad she was home. It was nice snuggling with her and having her home.

Then, today, she got up and turned the TV on, she's boycotting Hallmark because of that whole Little House issue. Although on Saturday she gave up her boycott for Annie (with Kathy Bates as Ms. Hannigan. .. Ha ha ha! Carol Burnett did a better job, she was meaner) and while she was gone she recorded the Sarah Plain and Tall trilogy. She didn't want to give up her boycott, and argued with herself, but went through with it, and look! They brought it back!!

It was not one of her faves; a two-parter where Mary had to have an operation and Pa had to work hauling dynamite and work digging ditches so he wouldn't have to sell his farm to pay the bill at the hospital.

But it doesn't matter! Mistress was so happy she was jumping up and down!

Humans, they get so excited over silly little things. Mice, catnip, treats, your human coming home, those are good things to be excited about!

I played a little Easter trick on some of my Catster friends. I gave them an Easter basket gift rosette last Monday, then I gave them each an egg, which I virtually (that's how it works on Catster, everything is virtual) made the egg "boing" into the basket. Until yesterday, then i gave them a little Easter bunny, and I signed it "youdon'tknowhoo, pretty much because we only get 250 letters/characters to a rosette.I also signed the other eggs "The Easter Kitty" Well, on Friday, one of my friends Rocky Ann, guessed who it was, then another kitty friend, the boss of Samoa's Detective Agency (a Catster group that checks out Anonymous Rosette Givers ARG's cases kind of like a real virtual detective agency, and if you don't know anything about Catster, you won't understand this anyway!

Well, on Friday, Rocky Ann and Samoa found me out, cuz dumb old me, I signed one egg LHOTP! How dumb, because Catsters have diaries like I do here, and I transfer my diary here and also put it in Catster! I didn't want RA (Rocky Ann) to find me out before Easter and the Easter bunny rosette, but she did! I sent her a message saying that maybe I was the ARG and maybe I wasn't! Sent that one to Samoa too. they didn't fall for it! Grrr! Well, Mistress left on Saturday, no rosettes were given, and barely yesterday, I talked her into giving just Rocky Ann and Samoa their bunny rosettes.

I was caught, just like a deer in headlights!

At Samoa's Detective Agency every month, there is a DOTM (Detective of the Month), well this month it was a tie between my twin Chai Latte-Capone (above) or Squeakers!

SQUEAKERS????? Squeakers has never solved a case, she helped me be an ARG (Annonymous Rosette Giver) in February, but that's it!

Oh well, she tied with my twin, and nobody voted for the winner, so this month, there were TWO DOTMs!

I'm laughing my fur off!

No Cameras, Please!

This is just awful! What does my human think she's doing with this cat? I mean, I am her cat, not this one!
Oh well, she said she was at her Gram's house last weekend and this cat, who actually is quite purrty, sat on her lap and purred and fell asleep.
Well, okay, but look, my human looks like she's enjoying it! When she got home I had quite a job, to get that cat's scent off my human!
Oh well, I wasn't too mad at my Mistress, after all, she's only human. Getting the scent off her was just all in a day's work for me anyway, look what I'll have to face when she actually becomes a vet assistant! Today she gave me those treats that I used to dislike, called Fit Nip. I hear tell that they actually have catnip in them! When I heard that, I decided to give them a try. They are too big for my little mouth, so Mistress had to break them up for me, but by the third treat, I could've eaten them whole!
They are so good, now I know what I was missing, and the treats, well, one of these days we're going to run out!
Oh no!
I have Feline Greenies too, and I like them, but these Fit Nip treats are great and they really make me wanna play! Mistress gave them to me when we were still listening to John Tesh's radio show. If John Tesh gave Mistress the idea to give me a treat. .. Thank you Johnny! After the show we went into the living room and I found my little green "thing"! I thought I'd never find him again! He'd been missing for at least two weeks! He's a tail-less blob that used to be a mouse but I think I bit off his feather tail, and then he went MIA! So I started batting him around and racing around trying to catch him.
Then Jennifer and Lyndi came, and I went MIA!
After they left, I slept for awhile, but came back out and played some more Mouse Hockey. I was doing really well too, then Mistress got her camera out and wanted to take movies of me playing!
I put up with it for about 20 seconds, then I pulled a Squeakers. .. I looked up at her, looked at the toy and looked up at her again like "What am I supposed to do with this?"
She got tired of holding the camera, so she turned it off and went back to her computer or TV or whatever.
The hockey game was resumed! I bat at the mouse and tried to catch it and she grabbed the camera again.
I stopped and just stared at her again.
This went on for about 15 minutes: Camera on, wait in silence while we stare each other down, camera off, mouse hockey game on, second verse same as the first!
Finally I gave up and walked around and she tried to get me to play fetch. .. do I look like a dog? Then she tried to get me to play with some other toy, in front of the camera.
Ha! It ain't gonna work, sistah!
She got tired of it first, then I stared her down while she was on the computer and when I tired of that I went to my "chambers" to take a nap.
I will not perform on camera! If you want me, call my agent!

April Fools!

Okay, so it's a day late. .. sue me!
Anyway, I played a great trick on my Mistress yesterday!
She was drinking a cup of cocoa, it seemed with all this windy weather, she had a hard time getting warm, I don't know what she was talking about, I was purrrfectly comfy!
So while she was sitting on the sofa, drinking her cocoa, I wanted to smell it, so she was going to put it down, she said cocoa was deathly dangerous for us kitties!
Chill, human! I didn't want to drink it, I just wanted to annoy you!
So while she was putting it down, I bumped her hand and cocoa went all over her shirt! Well, actually, not all over, there were just a couple spots on her shirt, and she got the stains out already.
"Saaaannnnddeeeeeeeee!!!" she yelled. I don't like yelling!
Well, she thought there was some cocoa on, uh, my backend, which was facing her at the time (and she deserved to see it, too!) So she actually felt my rump to make sure it wasn't wet! Eeeeuuuuww!!
It wasn't wet, then she saw her shirt
Ha ha ha! April Fools Mistress!!

Other April Fools jokes were played too. Mistress went on the Hallmark Channel site to do her daily whining *coughs* uh, requesting that Little House be put back in it's original spot each day, and some person wrote on a forum heading that Little House would be put back by May 4th! Well, my silly human fell for it, clicked on the forum to open it and read more, all happy and relieved, and what do you know? It was a joke!
She was not happy again *sigh* She's been watching the Little House DVDs like a maniac, Oh well, I think tonight we won't have to watch them.
Another joke was the HUGE computer virus that was supposed to happen, emails and messages were going out, even Mistress fell for it and tried to download the protective patch thingy, but her computer knew better, it didn't fall for it!
I guess our computer is smarter than my human! If only the computer could feed me!
Then, the best one, I think ... . Jen, Mistress' friend, put fake poo on the rug outside her door, and some human fell for it!
Not mine, of course. It wasn't Lyndi's poo, it was fake!
What a great joke, I hope they come up with fake kitty poo next year!

But, seriously, aren't kitties more mature? We don't fall for, or pull April fools. .. except for the cocoa bit, that was funny!
Oh yeah, another April Fool's joke, but it didn't seem to faze Mistress, but it kinda freaked me out. Early yesterday morning, they pulled something in the building and it made what Squeakers used to call "That whoop whoop noise." No, she used to call it "That whOOP whOOP noise!" That's what it sounds like too! I didn't like it at all! It disrupted a purrfectly good catnap! Mistress just said they were testing the sprinklers and fire alarms in the building. .. which, I suppose explained why she didn't run out the door! At least it didn't last long.

BOYCOTT HALLMARK CHANNEL!!!!!

Okay, this is from the Mistress, and when she's not happy, I'm not happy!!
I'm sorry it doesn't really have anything to do with kitty stuff.
Mistress got up later than usual this Monday morning, turned on the tube, she likes to start her day off with Step by Step, All in the Family and Little House On the Prairie, but like I said, she overslept.
When she did get to the TV, she found I Love Lucy on Hallmark Channel instead of Little House. She shrugged and thought "Okay, whatever, I miss Lucy anyway, they only usually have it on at either really early or really late." She checked the guide and found out that Little House would no longer be on Hallmark Channel!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, okay, I admit, and she admits that she does watch a little too much TV, especially since she lost her job, but she doesn't just sit there and stare at it, she gets breakfast, gets her emails, sometimes she reads, studies her Vet Assistant books, but mostly she has it on for noise and company.
And what better company than a wholesome two hours of Michael Landon?
Before, they had four hours of Little House on Hallmark, one at 9:00, one at 10:00, one at 2:00 and one at 3:00. Then since cable has shifted a bit and some cable companies don't offer TVLand anymore, they took it off TVLand. Oh well. Whatever. Even when Mistress worked, she finished her morning ritual with LHOTP!
Hey, 20 minutes of the show before a stressful day is better than nothing!
Then when she got laid off, the show was perfect to watch. There are some episodes she'd rather not watch, but she just left it on for noise anyway!
Now, they took I Love Lucy off of TVLand, that was INSANE!!!! but like I said, some cable companies don't offer TVLand anymore. Okay, so they put it on Hallmark. Okay, well, Lucy is kind of a Hallmark-y show cuz it's a very memorable show. I dare ya to find one person who hasn't seen all episodes, or even heard about the show!
Okay, so they took one Little House off the lineup. It was kinda odd, but still, three hours a day is just fine.
Then, cable companies were taking Lifetime off their offered channels (unthinkable!) so I guess Hallmark offered to put Golden Girls on their lineup.
Mistress loves Golden Girls too, and so does her friend Jennifer, and lots of women, men too! But it is NOT a Hallmark-y show! Hallmarky shows are: The Waltons, 7th Heaven, Murder She Wrote, Highway to Heaven, Touched By An Angel, even M*A*S*H and Little House! Plus the umpteen wonderful, heart-wrenching movies they play.
But Golden Girls? With talk of s*x and inuendos and stuff like that on a family channel?
I don't think so!!
What is happening to TV today? So many sick and twisted shows are on now, and I'm not saying Golden Girls is, Mistress loves it! But the shows they have on TVLand now. .. TVLand, that used to be as wholesome as blueberry pie! They now have 3rd Rock From the Sun, High School Confidential? and CSI NY??? And now Hallmark Channel? Playing sitcoms .. .sitcoms that many many people, including my Mistress enjoy, but still, when they take off the wholesome shows like The Waltons and Little House on the Prairie and put in hours, and too many hours, too, of Golden Girls and M*A*S*H (which, I'm sure is a very good show in it's own right), it means even Cable TV is going south. Where you can't even get your daily dose of Michael Landon, and I'm not talking Bonanza either!! What is this world coming to? What will the kids watch? Sex? violence? Sitcoms and dramas that don't give you that "touchy-feely good feeling" at the end are going. .. going. .. almost gone!
Mistress is glad that at least she has all the Little House's on DVD. She is now boycotting the Hallmark Channel, I think a lot of people are, because Hallmark just isn't Hallmark without Little House. If your humans feel the same way .. . then come with us and
BOYCOTT HALLMARK!!!!!!
Now, some people might think "Oh, it's only TV" or "Oh, I've got all the episodes on DVD anyway and it'll be nice to see them without the commercials" or "Oh, you're just making a big deal about nothing."
Well, maybe so. .. . but if you feel passionately about something. . .whatever it is, STICK WITH IT THROUGH THICK AND THIN!!! Like Mistress also feels that way about animals and becoming a Vet Assistant, about taking care of herself and me independantly. .. etc.

What the. . .. ?

Okay, so, my food bowl is gone, so is my water bowl!
So is my cute little paw mat, the garbage can, the "I dreamt my dishes were done" mat for Mistress to stand on while she gets back to reality and actually does her dishes, my food storage thing, plus the extra bags of food that I'm always trying to tip over, and even Squeakers' old kidney food storage thing is gone!
WHAT THE. .. .?
Then I saw them, they were all scattered around the living room? I don't get it.
Then Mistress started pushing this sponge on a stick around the kitchen and while she did that, she dipped it into an ooky thing of water and pushed it around some more!
Humans. . .but, whatever opens their tuna cans, I guess.
But it interupted the happy flow of things! She did it in the bathroom too!
I mean (and for what you were thinking, shame on you!) she moved my litterbox, and the rugs it was on top of, and everything else that I don't care about out, and she pushed that thing around and got all the ooky stuff out from under my box (phew) and all her ooky old hair and my ooky old hair, and even Squeakers' ooky old hair (yeah, she isn't a great housekeeper) from the shower drain.
Like they say in that commercial: Eeeeeeuuuuwww!!
But did she have to uproot my happy existance?
*sigh* I guess so
Mistress said some guys called Inspectors may come in tomorrow and check some apartments at random, she says it may be ours, it may not.
Any which way, I be hiding!
So at least my food is back to where it belongs, so is everything else I can poop into or cheekrub.
It better stay that way!