Condo Dwelling

I never really considered the kitty condo by the window a "place to hang out." I just thought of it as Squeakers' domain and not mine.Unless you count the time, the day before Squeakers went to the bridge. Mistress was so involved with something else, and also probably worrying about Squeakers, finding jobs, the holidays, all the trivial things humans fret about, that she needed to check on Squeakers. So I jumped onto the top level of the condo and shocked her!It didn't save Squeakers' life though :-(Lately, once in awhile, Mistress has put me on the top of the condo, just put me there! Like, what am I supposed to do up here now? Start knitting?? She says it was so that I would figure out I like it. .. but I think it was because she didn't want me underfoot. Actually, and I wouldn't tell her this, but she actually had a good idea! *gasp* She was. .. . r-r-r-right! *bigger gasp*I LIKE IT! Yes kids and cats. .. She likes it! Sandy likes it!I went there last night before Mistress left the house (there's a level 3 sex offender in the neighborhood and she was going to a meeting about him!) and I was there when she came back, two hours later, and the only time I really came out was when my tummy started to rumble! I came out to eat in the "community dining area" set for tenants of Kitty Condo (okay, kitchen, where I always eat) and after that, I went back to MY condo. .. now it's MY domain! I feel I have Squeakers' purrrmission to take over the housing, after all, I took over her Mommy even before she left! :-)I'm back there today. I came out last night to accompany the Mistress to her sleeping quarters (okay, bed) and when she got up (finally!!) I came out, spent some quality time with her, then went back to my condoI like how that sounds. .. MY CONDO!! Rent free. .. yeah!Actually, it's a purrrfect place to watch the Mistress clean and make a fool out of herself!What more could a cat want?!I never really considered the kitty condo by the window a "place to hang out." I just thought of it as Squeakers' domain and not mine.Unless you count the time, the day before Squeakers went to the bridge. Mistress was so involved with something else, and also probably worrying about Squeakers, finding jobs, the holidays, all the trivial things humans fret about, that she needed to check on Squeakers. So I jumped onto the top level of the condo and shocked her!It didn't save Squeakers' life though :-(Lately, once in awhile, Mistress has put me on the top of the condo, just put me there! Like, what am I supposed to do up here now? Start knitting?? She says it was so that I would figure out I like it. .. but I think it was because she didn't want me underfoot. Actually, and I wouldn't tell her this, but she actually had a good idea! *gasp* She was. .. . r-r-r-right! *bigger gasp*I LIKE IT! Yes kids and cats. .. She likes it! Sandy likes it!I went there last night before Mistress left the house (there's a level 3 sex offender in the neighborhood and she was going to a meeting about him!) and I was there when she came back, two hours later, and the only time I really came out was when my tummy started to rumble! I came out to eat in the "community dining area" set for tenants of Kitty Condo (okay, kitchen, where I always eat) and after that, I went back to MY condo. .. now it's MY domain! I feel I have Squeakers' purrrmission to take over the housing, after all, I took over her Mommy even before she left! :-)I'm back there today. I came out last night to accompany the Mistress to her sleeping quarters (okay, bed) and when she got up (finally!!) I came out, spent some quality time with her, then went back to my condoI like how that sounds. .. MY CONDO!! Rent free. .. yeah!Actually, it's a purrrfect place to watch the Mistress clean and make a fool out of herself!What more could a cat want?!

Don't Ask Me To Be Cute!

Mistress came home and looked for me. .. but couldn't find me!I was somewhere where I never really go (that she knows of) but where Squeakers used to sit all the time. . . On top of the toilet seat (lid down, of course, I don't wanna go body surfing!)She gasped and ran.Then I ranThen she pouted because I ran!What am I, a show cat? Expected to purrrform on cue?She said she wanted to get the camera. .. oh no! She said I looked so cute up there because she got a new tank set for her birthday 6 weeks ago. For kitties who don't remember or know what tank sets are, they are really hard to find and have to be ordered from a catalog. Then when it came, the tank part didn't fit and it had to go to a taylor shop and then Mistress' mom had to come over AGAIN and put it on and cut the hole in it. .. don't know why, but there had to be a hole in it.It's nice and soft and a lot fluffier than the thing that was covering the porcelain water holder before, and it coverst he middle part so I can rub against it all I want!Squeakers used to call that her "thinking place" and she'd even fall asleep there (figures) until she was shooed off.Now she keeps putting me back there and asking me to pose. For what? Stuffonmycat? Snuzzy? The Cat's Meow? Cheezburger? Well, if they want pics of me sitting on a toilet. . .er, "thinking place" . . .furget it! Now cuz she wants it. . .I won't do it.

Do I Look Like a Lab Cat To You?

Lately I've been a lab cat. . .not a LAP cat. .. a LAB cat!I've been used as an experiment for Mistress' Veterinary Assistant courses, especially in the History and Physical Examination study unit!Today she was reading and studying about how to carry and lift dogs, then how to carry and prepare cats for. . .uh. . .venipuncture (in regular humanspeak. . SHOTS, and in felinese. . AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!)
She didn't try to give me a shot. With what.. . .her knitting needles?? She did try to get my vital signs though. She grabbed me and felt me up. . .that I didn't mind so much, I even started to lightly purr, which screwed up the BPM count (heart beats per minute), but she finally got it when I was getting a bit fed up with human hands all over me, especially places where human hands do NOT belong! She had a hard time getting my pulse though, while she continued feeling me up, mostly my thigh and upper hindleg. She still couldn't find it, but was reassured that only more experienced vets, techs and assistants can find it. She finally was happy with my BPM, then she checked my reflexes. I guess it checked out okay. She still fiddled with my femur, but finally let me go when I started to protest.
Now I can kinda understand what those lab rats and other animals are going through. I feel so. . .used! Jen said she could practice on Lyndi, so. .. LET HER!Although it's kinda an interesting idea, giving my body (sort of) to science and being used as an educational tool.
But only on MY terms!

A Compliment From My Mistress

Mistress has been very busy lately, that's why I don't write much.
Anyway. . .last weekend, Mistress deserted me.
No, that's not the compliment she paid me! In fact, that was an insult. She left me and her home to go to some place called. . .Itty Bitty. .. oh, no, it's Little Falls! She went with her friend Jen, human to Twinkie and Lyndi. Lyndi went with them, Twinkie stayed home and the humans joked about Twinkie and me having parties while we were gone. .. you know, like in those Tidy Cats commercials? Twinkie's house Friday night, mine Saturday night.
Yeah, right.
I guess Jen grew up in this Little Falls, it is also where Charles Lindberg grew up, something to do with airplanes. I don't care, the fact is She deserted me!
But she did pay me a nice compliment. Jen closed the doors to her bedroom and bathroom so Twinkie wouldn't make mischief by shredding her precious scrapbooking stuff and drink toilet water. .. ick!
Jen's mom said that the humans would have a big mess to clean up when they got home, implying that us kitties would make a mess. Mistress said "No, I know my Sandy, she's a good girl, she won't mess up my apartment"
*smiles* Thank you, Mistress!
She also did me a favor. They went to Jen's uncle's house one night, I guess Jen's grandpa used to make wooden kitties and Jen wanted to give Mistress some. At the house, Jen and Mistress saw a mama cat and a couple kittens. Jen (the little rat. .. uh, Happy Birthday Jen, I meant!) put a tiny little kitten, just the size of Mistress' hand and Mistress fell in love!
Uh-oh!!
But she was good, she just came home with two kitties. .. wooden kitties that is!
I'm proud of her for that, that little runt would be too young to be pulled away from his mama anyway.
I was a little miffed at her when she got home. She wanted attention and love? Hmmph! I ignored her until she checked out my dish, it was totally empty, not one single kibble left!
She was shocked. She was expecting to see 75% of the food still there!
Well geez, yes after only one night most of the food would still be there, but she was gone for over 48 hours! She came home late too, saying something about late bus, traffic. . .who cares? I'm hungry!
After she fed me and fully unpacked I decided I could sniff her down for interesting scents.

I Hiss, Therefore I am. . . MAD!!!

Okay, okay, I know. .. I haven't written in like FOREVER! But then, who reads my blog anyway, it looks like NO ONE does! Does anyone read it or not??
Anyway, I was mad today, really mad!
Lately Mistress has been staying up kinda late, ever since her birthday (it was May 23rd) when she came home and brought her old TV/VCR (what the heck is a VCR you ask? Look it up!) and especially since she got cable put in that TV before the Big day, which is, BTW, This Friday! She says she loves having cable in the room, so we can snuggle in bed late at night and watch The Golden Girls on Hallmark Channel.
As long as those old girls don't keep me away from Catster and the Late Late Show, especially on Friday nights!
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, so last night Mistress got a new book. She'd just finished the one about Michael Landon, when TADA!! Melissa Gilbert's book came out! It's called Prairie Tail. .. uh, Tale and she really got into it, she read when she got home from her tenant meeting (whatever that is) and even read through all of Golden Girls, Cheers, and I Love Lucy! Then she put a tape in (what's that?) and read through a big part of the tape!
I just sat there staring at her.
Finally she went to sleep, but then she got up again an hour later, then she went back to sleep after I kneaded her to make sure she was going to stay!
She slept and kicked the covers around SO MUCH that I had to leave before she kicked me!
That's not why I hissed though. When the alarm clock went off, she turned Golden Girls on again! (doesn't she ever get sick of that show?) but went back to sleep and woke up while Lucy Ricardo on I Love Lucy was trying to play her saxophone (what a way to wake up!) the covers were also half on the floor!
She finally got up, talking to someone on the phone for almost two hours, then ran around like a nut, trying to get dressed, cleaning up the mess that was the bed, stuff like that.
Her company came early and she buzzed the lady in. I stood still until she let the lady in. I did run out and ran under a chair, but then she wanted the lady, Melanie, to meet me, so I ran like there was no tomorrow!
She caught me. .. by the tail!!
"Meeeeooooowwwwwww!!! Hissssssssss!!! Rooooowwwwww!!" I said.
But did she put me down?
Noooo! The lady had to pet me first!
Good grief, when I finally got free I ran like a cat outta hell and under the bed!
I didn't even come out when she left. That lady I once knew as my Mistress (I disowned her, you know. .. well. .. nah, I guess not) didn't even check on me right away. When she did, though I looked like a sleeping beauty on my puffy blue cloud. I made myself comfy on the freshly made bed and settled in for a long day's nap. I'm still there!
One day I will furgive her. .. it would take less time if she hadn't had to take pictures of me!

My Mistress is a Tease!

A Food tease!
Yesterday she got a toaster over *thanks for the new box to play in and headbonk Mistress!* so today she wanted to go get somelthing to "toast".
She came back with a whole lot too, toaster strudel, waffles, and Fiber One toaster pastries! *eyes bug out* Holy Kat! She even found her favorite Toastwich grilled cheese sandwiches, which is funny cuz 90% of the time Mistress hates sandwiches! :-/
Anyway, the point is she came home with lots of goodies. .. for her. but what about goodies for me?
WAIT!!! I see something! *eyes bug out even more* My favorite Alley Cat food! *claps paws*
I know, Alley Cat is a kind of generic brand, and Mistress used to feed me and Squeakers something a little bit more upscale like Iams. But I was brought up on Alley Cat and I LOVE it!
So I watched her while she finished unpacking and watched while stuff flew out of the freezer, and finally she put the Alley Cat in my food locker while I cheekrubbed the bag, but would she give me any?
One guess!
Nooooo!!!!! She said it's not dinnertime yet, and I first have to finish what is in my bowl now.
That's why my Mistress is a food tease!
I'm hungry
I want fresh Alley Cat.
NOW!!!!!

Purrs, Paws and Purresents for Mistress

I'm such a good nurse, so sweet, no matter what!
Mistress came home from Mother's Day weekend with water running out of her nose. She went to her orientation at the Feline Rescue shelter too, with water running out of her nose on Saturday morning! Ewww!
Monday she was okay, but the floodgates really opened and she really had lots of water, it was really gross! She went to the shelter on Tuesday, but didn't stay cuz she said there were too many people on the bus and she got claws-tro-pho-bic even before she got to the shelter! So she went home and took a nap with me.
I like those days when she acts like me: many naps, doesn't do much, lays around all day. This week she made a great pet!
Even though on Monday she did try and brush my teeth. .. yucky!!
So starting Tuesday, I was on Kitty Nurse duty and I put my nurse's cap on and I kneaded her and purred in her ear, she loves it. I don't like purring in her ear cuz sometimes she has sticky stuff in there! Squeakers used to love that, but not me!
But I did it cuz I'm a good nurse and I got good pay. . .food, clean litter, Greenies, and especially some extra Mistress time!
To thank her, I pulled a "Squeakers."
Squeakers, when she was a kitten used to hide her little toys in Mistress' shoes. She loved it too. But Squeakers gave it up when she got older Except for the week when Mistress had her viral infection and was really sick.
I was there too, I saw it, I saw how much Mistress loved toys in her shoes so when she came down with her cold, I put my little green "thing", my favorite toy, the mouse without a tail, in Mistress' clog!
I thought it would take her forever to find it!
When she finally did, she said "awww!" and wondered if Squeakers suggested (from the Bridge) that I put it in there or if I did it on my own.
Humans, they can't just say "Thank you, Sandy!"
No, so she brought it to me and put it with me in my Morgan's bed.
I didn't wanna sleep with it, and I didn't feel like playing so I kicked it away.
Why, oh why did she have to bring it to me?
Humans don't do grateful well!
So then she wanted me to play with it, later. There is one small point though I WANTED TO SLEEP! I didn't want to play!
So she looked everywhere for a toy that I didn't want right now. Which made me annoyed and I left my comfy bed.
Finally, she found it, in the bedcovers and brought it out to the living room for me to kick around.
There's still one small point .. . I still don't wanna play now!

Has It Been Two Years Already?

That was me, 2 years ago, about a day after I moved into my new forever home. Don't I look scared to death?
Yep, as of about 8:30-ish tonight, it'll be two years since that foster lady brought me over, put me in this strange, short lady's arms. I stayed in her arms for about a minute, then I ran off and hid behind the sofa! I was a scaredy cat all right!
It also has been about two years and about 2-3 days since that mean man tried to shoot me. His mother had broken her hip and had to move in with her son, and the other son was gonna take me out and shoot me! Well, they say everyone has a hero, mine was a nice foster lady who took me in for the weekend.
Then, Linda, the foster lady, met my now-Mistress' friend Jennifer at the chiropractor's office. Jen had had Lyndi, the guide dog with her, so they started talking about pets and Linda mentioned me, about how I am so shy and docile and she had to pet me to get me to eat. Well, Jen mentioned Mistress, who was looking for another cat to share her home with, I guess Squeakers just wasn't enough.
She wanted to go to Petsmart's adoption fair thing, but started to feel nervous, like it just wasn't right, not the right time or situation, and also, the driver taking them had had a flat tire! So Jen, knowing that Mistress wanted a new kitty, mentioned it to Linda and Linda gave Jen her number and Jen emailed Mistress.
When Mistress got home from work and looked at her emails, she was kinda of paralyzed. She calls it "fate". She stared at the words for fifteen minutes and then before she knew it, she felt herself pick up the phone, she felt like another "force" was guiding her to that decision, now we all know why. Because Squeakers wouldn't live that long and Mistress needed a kitty, and it would give me a year and a half to get used to her and my new home before I could take over as Alpha Cat.
Actually it only took four months! By the end of the summer of '07 I was bossing Squeakers around and giving her what for if she didn't obey, and bapping her on the nose for no reason!
Anyway, Linda wasn't home when she first called, so Mistress left a message. Linda called back about an hour later, but she couldn't bring me over yet, there was only one car and it seemed her husband had it. Anyway, by 7:30, Linda called back and said she was on her way.
Mistress had only the one litterbox and food dish and also the water fountain, so she had Linda bring my old box with her, plus my favorite Alley Cat food, some goat's milk (I love that) and some clay litter.
Mistress could hear me coming as soon as Linda and I got off the elevator! She thought "That must be my new kitty!" and she met us at the door.
When I met Squeakers. . .well, there was a whole lotta hissin' goin' on! I mean, two female cats in one little apartment? HISSSSS!!!
So when I came out from behind the sofa, after Linda had left, I ran right from the sofa to under the bed! I rarely came out for food and potty breaks for the next few days. . actually, for the next couple months!
At first, Mistress had to pet me to get me to eat, The closed-off bedroom was my area, the food, water and litterbox were in there. The next day she left for work, leaving the bedroom door open for Squeakers and me to get used to each other, but of course, Squeakers thought my food was hers and the litterbox was hers also!
What a brat!
After work, she went to Petsmart to get me my own dishes and kept the door to the bedroom closed for awhile.
The night that I came, Mistress woke bolt upright at 3:30 a.m and started to worry about me! She was so concerned because I wouldn't come out from under the bed, and she was excited that she had a new kitty. . .she was unfortunately up for the day.
The second night she was pooped. After work and a trip to Petsmart she wanted to spend some time with me, and Squeakers alike. So first she took some books out of her room, books about cats, and read about Siamese cats, she'd never had one before. Then around 9:30 she came in to my area and flopped down on the bed, exhausted. After I realized Squeakers wasn't going to be there, I hopped up on the bed and cuddled with her, and I started to knead!
Oh she was so thrilled! If a human could purr, she would've been purring! Oh it took some time and patience, but I came out of my shell a little each day.
Mother's Day was a problem though. Mother's Day was about five days after I came. Mistress was wondering what to do about me, she wanted to spend the weekend at her Mom's house. So she kept me in the bedroom, but she kept the door open. . .that wasn't a good idea! Jennifer came up to see that we had enough food and to see me, but I wouldn't come out, and she was concerned that Squeakers, the little piggy, was eating all my food, so she closed the bedroom door.
That summer I spent a lot of time in that bedroom, the only bedroom, and we just had to adjust to each other, Mistress too. She kept moving my litterbox around and I thought it should be in the bathroom, so I began to pee on her nice fluffy rug in the bathroom! She got really frustrated, but she just wanted to please me too. Finally she took the rug out and put the litterbox in the bathroom. Oh, it still moves around, the room is so small that she has to move it back into the bedroom when she takes a shower. Sometimes, like today, when she has to use her litterbox,s he walks in on me using my litterbox! Today I had to go so bad I didn't care who was there!
Mistress loves me so much, she can talk to me, she loves it when I knead, she loves it when I sit on her lap, let's face it, when she looks at me her heart melts!
She calls me her "soul mate" and says "Squeakers was my pal, Sandy is my lover."
Whatever that means!

Be Kind To Animals. . .and to Sandy Week!

Wow, this is a great week!

It is, after all, Be Kind to Animals Week, Cinco De Mayo, My Gotcha Day, Birthday, Catster Annifursary and Mother's Day All rolled into one week!

There is barely any time to take a mere 20-hour nap!

And we're just getting started!! Mistress has a lot going too, I guess. Thursday's her beepball game in front of 2,500 people including her Gram, Gramps and Aunt Sandy, Saturday she starts volunteering at that place with all the cats, the Feline Rescue, then, after she gets home, smelling of the scent of feline (not necessarily a bad smell, mind you), she's gonna ditch me and go to her Mom's for Mother's Day! I'll barely have time to de-odorize her!

Oh, and she got an 88 on one of her hardest courses, Nervous System,Sensory Organs and Endocrine System *falls over from exhaustion* How she did it, I'll never know. . .and uh I really don't care, but anyway. . .I don't even understand any of it!

On a more serious note: This week is Be Kind To Animals Week. I had Mistress join a group on Facebook, about stopping purrrsons from "crushing" animals, and one about stopping people from "skinning" animals! Humans can be so incredibly cruel!

She read about a lady who was holding her tortie cat, and petting her lovingly, then put her down on the ground and stepped on her kitty, crushing the kitty, on the face, with her stiletto shoe .. .on purpose!!!

One time she started to watch a video on YouTube, and then there was one today on another animal cruelty prevention site where people in China tied cats (in one video, in the other it was dogs) to a tree and skinned them alive!!

She couldn't even watch 30 seconds of it without bawling her head off and turning it off immediately.

Now, humans can be so great. After all, mommies, and daddies too, and little kids, take us in, feed us, clean our boxes, pet us, help us when we're sick, take us to the vet, think about us, write about us, make our Catster/Dogster/blogger/Facebook pages, and pretty much love us to death until we are at the Bridge. Once in a while twofers can get kinda annoying with their overexuberance, especially if it interupts a nice nap, but we love them so much too. All us four-leggers (even if cats don't act quite as affectionate as dogs) want to do is love humans, play with them, nuzzle and knead them, help lower their blood pressure, and just be there for them, and what do some sicko humans do?

What is my point, you ask? Well, here are a few things that even the smallest twofer can do to help animals, not only just on Be Kind to Animals Week, but all year through!

1) Speak out for animals
2) Report animal abuse
3) Appreciate wildlife
4) Adopt a pet from a shelter or rescue
5) Take care of their pets
Please visit American Humane's BKAW page for more information.

Rest In Peace Bea Arthur!

For 7 years, she kept saying "God'll get you for that Walter!" as Maude, and who could forget Dorothy Zbornak? She was a great lady and a dynamic actress. We'll all miss her so much.

Mistress was pretty taken aback when she heard about Bea's death, her friend Jennifer called and said "Do you know if Bea Arthur died?" and Mistress didn't know, Jen was just checking it out, seems their mutual friend Jerry heard it, and Jen wanted to check with Mistress, so Mistress googled Bea and it said that, yes indeed, she died peacefully at her home on Saturday, April 25, just a couple weeks short of her 87th birthday.

She also watched the news on Inside Edition, and Hallmark Channel (yes, we are still watching Hallmark as long as Little House is on!) will have a Golden Girls Dorothy-themed marathon, and what do you know? Mistress likes to watch All In The Family once in awhile, while watching Step by Step and The Golden Girls (her morning T.V schedule is a little complicated when she first wakes up) anyway, yesterday and today they had Maude-themed shows on! Which makes Mistress want to watch the one season of Maude that she has on DVD, especially the dynamic two-parter where Maude is pregnant at age 47!

Anyway, she said "God'll getcha for that!", now God has her!

Rest in Peace, Maudie! You'll always be taking the world by storm.

As far as kitty stuff goes, Mistress applied for a volunteer position at the nearby Feline Rescue! OH NOOOOOO!!! I can't forbid her, but well, if she does volunteer, she's gonna come home smelling like other cats! I will have to de-odorize her!

Then she went out with her Mom last night, and it seems that before dinner, they went to a place that had pet supplies, and her Mom was kind enough to get me a Yeowww! Stinky Salmon! Chock-full of catnip!

Thanks Grandma! I licked it and purred my little kitty heart out, and then ignored it and went to sleep. Then later, when Mistress was in bed, I kicked it a little, cuz it was in my way! My little green friend was sitting next to it, and I wanted to get to him!

Birdies!!

It really must be spring now, cuz I've been hearing birdies alot lately, they go "tweetweetweetweet!" Or "Twittertwitter", and I'm not talkin' 'bout the website, don't think many birdies use that!
Well today I actually came face to face with one!
Mistress dragged me out of the bedroom to watch her roll up her rug, and while she was grunting and saying naughty words and cursing me out for possibly peeing on it a long time ago, I meowed, low and threateningly and she stopped and looked at me in the window and stopped and dropped the rug, which then rolled.
Now, we have had pigeons before, so I hear. Squeakers told me that the first year Mistress had Squeakers was also the first year she lived in this apartment, that winter there were loads of them all lined up on our deck! We are on the seventh floor but have a small deck and they all lined up and expected food!
Dirty little .. . I won't say it. .. . okay, I will. .. BIRDS!
At first, Mistress thought "Oh, birds, how sweet!"
Duh!
Until her mom said that they were pigeons and the old lady that lived here before must have had nothing to do but feed them. So they tried everything: shooing them, windchimes, and mothballs, they worked the best, and also tying CD's. . .yes, you read that right. .. CD's! on the railing, I guess they hate shiny things.
But the best, the ABSOLUTE BEST thing, they did, that obviously didn't work. . .Ready?
A friend of hers got a free Corona balloon from the liqour store nearby, it was a star with streamers coming from the points. So, they thought they'd hang it on the patio and it worked, for about three weeks, then one day, Mistress looked outside and the balloon had POPPED! The pigeons, who had been PEEING on it, actually FLEW INTO IT and popped it!
Priceless, just priceless!
Well, Mistress was at the end of her rope and she asked the then Resident Manager what to do and smart aleck that he was said .. "Get a cat!"
Of course she did, and it didn't help. After about two years they realized "Can't get no food here, let's find some poor old lady or man to feed us!" and they left.
Well, today, Mistress was flabbergasted to find a pigeon on our deck. She grabbed the camera to get a movie of me growling at it, but the little bugger flew off.
Good. . .or. .. not?
It came back, just as she got the dang rug into the cart and was about to head out to the laundromat. .. for what? Rug was too big anyway, she almost got a hernia trying to put it into the cart.
She saw it, I meowed. . .calling "action! Grab the camera you dumb human!"
She did and got a movie. . .even though she said a coupla naughty words during it! *gasp*
We got him to go bye-bye after about two minutes of me meowing and her shooing. Then. . .then! just as she was about to leave, the neighbor underneath us yelled "HEY! SHOO!" and some other naughty words!

I love sitting in the window, what action!

"Thanks Alot Sandy"

You're welcome Mistress!
What are you thanking me for? For making us flunk the apartment inspection again? I don't think she can blame me for that!
She says she *sarcastically* thanks me for my peeing on the floor.
but I kindly reminded her that, yes I did pee on the bedroom floor and the bathroom floor, ruining her fluffy rug, but I did not mark the living room rug with my scent!
I also would like to remind her that it was Squeakers that had the kidney problems in the end and Squeakers also left her calling card on some parts of the floor once in a while!
Mistress would try to clean it up as best she could, with some stuff called Oxy-Solution, but the lady still smelled urine!
Funny, Mistress said she didn't smell anything at all. Either she has to find someone to help her clean the carpet or she's going to have to get a citation, not exactly sure what that entails, but it doesn't sound good!
Sometimes when her mom comes over she sniffs and asks "What's that smell?" and Mistress says "I don't smell anything". But she hasn't been over in a long time. She asked Jennifer, her friend if she could smell any kitty urine and she said, "maybe once in awhile, but not very strong."
So now, all the blame lies on my bladder?
Well. . .excuuuuuuse me!!

Happy Earth Day!

Yaaay! It's Earth Day!
And to celebrate it, my little green "friend" that I like to kick around all night?
He came back!
Mistress tripped on him, saying a coupla naughty words in the process, but WHO CARES??
He's back!
I know, I'm like a little kid with a blankie, but other toys. ..well, they're just not the same!
Mistress passed her course on the Digestive, Reproductive and Urinary Systems, but I kept bugging her during the test, I even jumped up on the desk, but I was just so excited that she found my friend!
So excited that I think I knew it was gonna happen. . .and yesterday afternoon, I puked on the carpet!
It's funner and easier to do it that way, and the human gets all grossed out!
At least I didn't puke up (or on) my little green friend!

I Went Outside!

Yep, that's right, I went outside! But, uh, it wasn't my idea! I was simply looking out the window: (above), looking like that "How much is that kitty in the window" song.

Then Mistress said that it was such a nice day, that why don't we go out on the deck?

Now, looking out on the deck from the safe apartment was okay, but actually going out there? Where I could get lost, abducted, okay, so it was only the patio, but I could fall off!

What was she thinking?

Last year she took me out on the deck to Furminate me and I screamed my little kitty head off! She tried to take me out in Squeakers stroller and I screamed my little kitty head off!

Doesn't she get it?

I wanna stay home!! I am NOT Squeakers! I don't like to stroll or go for a walk downstairs and have old ladies pet me or go out on the deck, especially to be Furminated!

I just wanna look out at all the trees, since we're so high (heaven on the 7th floor) I like to be able to look down on the trees and all the teeny little people and the itty bitty cars and dogs and feel the nice breezy air!

I think I was outside for about two and a half minutes, and the whole time I. .. you guessed it, screamed my little kitty head off!

The cars, trucks and busses were so LOUD! And the air was, like right there! I do like listening to the birds though. . .but from INSIDE!

Oh What A Beautiful Meow-ning!

Oh what a bee-yoo-tee-ful day it is!

• The sun is out.
• No rain, snow or any other type of purrcipitation
• Mistress is in a good mood.
• She opened the sliding door so I could look out.
• Her friend over the phone sang "How much is that kitty in the window?"
• Ha ha, very funny!
• Mistress put me on top of the kitty condo so I could look at, and hear the birdies
• I heard a growling noise in the distance
• It scared me off the condo.
• I played Peek-a-boo with Mistress.
• She was on the phone, I was walking around.
• I saw her head peeking over the desk chiar (she was standing up)
• I jumped up on the chair
• She stood up straight, then looked down at me
• I stood on my hind legs and peeked at her.
• She hunched down and peeked at me!
• She stood up
• I stood up and peeked again.
• She wasn't there!
• Where was she?
• She came back and peeked at me!
• I wish that dang buzzing/growling thing would SHUT UP!
• So does Mistress
• Cuz we like having the window open.
• My little green "friend" is missing again.
• I don't care. .. It's a bee-yoo-tee-ful day!
• Sometimes the windchimes tinkle outside
• They sound pretty.
• As long as they don't tinkle inside!
• I tinkled on the floor today.
• Mistress got mad. .. but only for a minute.
• Oxy-Solution to the rescue!
• Have a nice day everykitty!

Little House is BACK!! WHOOHOO!!!!!!!!

Hope everykitty had a nice Easter.

I was all alone, thank you very much. Even Twinkie was busy, hiding from his grandpawrents under the bed! Just like I do when company comes!

Mistress went to her mom's. It was kind of nice having the place all to myself for awhile, kicking the little green blob around, poking my nose where it shouldn't be, stuff like that. She didn't get home until 10:00 last night though! She was very naughty! And she didn't bring me any treats!

And I even met her at the door. See if I ever do that again!

Well. .. okay, I'm not bitter anymore. I was glad she was home. It was nice snuggling with her and having her home.

Then, today, she got up and turned the TV on, she's boycotting Hallmark because of that whole Little House issue. Although on Saturday she gave up her boycott for Annie (with Kathy Bates as Ms. Hannigan. .. Ha ha ha! Carol Burnett did a better job, she was meaner) and while she was gone she recorded the Sarah Plain and Tall trilogy. She didn't want to give up her boycott, and argued with herself, but went through with it, and look! They brought it back!!

It was not one of her faves; a two-parter where Mary had to have an operation and Pa had to work hauling dynamite and work digging ditches so he wouldn't have to sell his farm to pay the bill at the hospital.

But it doesn't matter! Mistress was so happy she was jumping up and down!

Humans, they get so excited over silly little things. Mice, catnip, treats, your human coming home, those are good things to be excited about!

I played a little Easter trick on some of my Catster friends. I gave them an Easter basket gift rosette last Monday, then I gave them each an egg, which I virtually (that's how it works on Catster, everything is virtual) made the egg "boing" into the basket. Until yesterday, then i gave them a little Easter bunny, and I signed it "youdon'tknowhoo, pretty much because we only get 250 letters/characters to a rosette.I also signed the other eggs "The Easter Kitty" Well, on Friday, one of my friends Rocky Ann, guessed who it was, then another kitty friend, the boss of Samoa's Detective Agency (a Catster group that checks out Anonymous Rosette Givers ARG's cases kind of like a real virtual detective agency, and if you don't know anything about Catster, you won't understand this anyway!

Well, on Friday, Rocky Ann and Samoa found me out, cuz dumb old me, I signed one egg LHOTP! How dumb, because Catsters have diaries like I do here, and I transfer my diary here and also put it in Catster! I didn't want RA (Rocky Ann) to find me out before Easter and the Easter bunny rosette, but she did! I sent her a message saying that maybe I was the ARG and maybe I wasn't! Sent that one to Samoa too. they didn't fall for it! Grrr! Well, Mistress left on Saturday, no rosettes were given, and barely yesterday, I talked her into giving just Rocky Ann and Samoa their bunny rosettes.

I was caught, just like a deer in headlights!

At Samoa's Detective Agency every month, there is a DOTM (Detective of the Month), well this month it was a tie between my twin Chai Latte-Capone (above) or Squeakers!

SQUEAKERS????? Squeakers has never solved a case, she helped me be an ARG (Annonymous Rosette Giver) in February, but that's it!

Oh well, she tied with my twin, and nobody voted for the winner, so this month, there were TWO DOTMs!

I'm laughing my fur off!

No Cameras, Please!

This is just awful! What does my human think she's doing with this cat? I mean, I am her cat, not this one!
Oh well, she said she was at her Gram's house last weekend and this cat, who actually is quite purrty, sat on her lap and purred and fell asleep.
Well, okay, but look, my human looks like she's enjoying it! When she got home I had quite a job, to get that cat's scent off my human!
Oh well, I wasn't too mad at my Mistress, after all, she's only human. Getting the scent off her was just all in a day's work for me anyway, look what I'll have to face when she actually becomes a vet assistant! Today she gave me those treats that I used to dislike, called Fit Nip. I hear tell that they actually have catnip in them! When I heard that, I decided to give them a try. They are too big for my little mouth, so Mistress had to break them up for me, but by the third treat, I could've eaten them whole!
They are so good, now I know what I was missing, and the treats, well, one of these days we're going to run out!
Oh no!
I have Feline Greenies too, and I like them, but these Fit Nip treats are great and they really make me wanna play! Mistress gave them to me when we were still listening to John Tesh's radio show. If John Tesh gave Mistress the idea to give me a treat. .. Thank you Johnny! After the show we went into the living room and I found my little green "thing"! I thought I'd never find him again! He'd been missing for at least two weeks! He's a tail-less blob that used to be a mouse but I think I bit off his feather tail, and then he went MIA! So I started batting him around and racing around trying to catch him.
Then Jennifer and Lyndi came, and I went MIA!
After they left, I slept for awhile, but came back out and played some more Mouse Hockey. I was doing really well too, then Mistress got her camera out and wanted to take movies of me playing!
I put up with it for about 20 seconds, then I pulled a Squeakers. .. I looked up at her, looked at the toy and looked up at her again like "What am I supposed to do with this?"
She got tired of holding the camera, so she turned it off and went back to her computer or TV or whatever.
The hockey game was resumed! I bat at the mouse and tried to catch it and she grabbed the camera again.
I stopped and just stared at her again.
This went on for about 15 minutes: Camera on, wait in silence while we stare each other down, camera off, mouse hockey game on, second verse same as the first!
Finally I gave up and walked around and she tried to get me to play fetch. .. do I look like a dog? Then she tried to get me to play with some other toy, in front of the camera.
Ha! It ain't gonna work, sistah!
She got tired of it first, then I stared her down while she was on the computer and when I tired of that I went to my "chambers" to take a nap.
I will not perform on camera! If you want me, call my agent!

April Fools!

Okay, so it's a day late. .. sue me!
Anyway, I played a great trick on my Mistress yesterday!
She was drinking a cup of cocoa, it seemed with all this windy weather, she had a hard time getting warm, I don't know what she was talking about, I was purrrfectly comfy!
So while she was sitting on the sofa, drinking her cocoa, I wanted to smell it, so she was going to put it down, she said cocoa was deathly dangerous for us kitties!
Chill, human! I didn't want to drink it, I just wanted to annoy you!
So while she was putting it down, I bumped her hand and cocoa went all over her shirt! Well, actually, not all over, there were just a couple spots on her shirt, and she got the stains out already.
"Saaaannnnddeeeeeeeee!!!" she yelled. I don't like yelling!
Well, she thought there was some cocoa on, uh, my backend, which was facing her at the time (and she deserved to see it, too!) So she actually felt my rump to make sure it wasn't wet! Eeeeuuuuww!!
It wasn't wet, then she saw her shirt
Ha ha ha! April Fools Mistress!!

Other April Fools jokes were played too. Mistress went on the Hallmark Channel site to do her daily whining *coughs* uh, requesting that Little House be put back in it's original spot each day, and some person wrote on a forum heading that Little House would be put back by May 4th! Well, my silly human fell for it, clicked on the forum to open it and read more, all happy and relieved, and what do you know? It was a joke!
She was not happy again *sigh* She's been watching the Little House DVDs like a maniac, Oh well, I think tonight we won't have to watch them.
Another joke was the HUGE computer virus that was supposed to happen, emails and messages were going out, even Mistress fell for it and tried to download the protective patch thingy, but her computer knew better, it didn't fall for it!
I guess our computer is smarter than my human! If only the computer could feed me!
Then, the best one, I think ... . Jen, Mistress' friend, put fake poo on the rug outside her door, and some human fell for it!
Not mine, of course. It wasn't Lyndi's poo, it was fake!
What a great joke, I hope they come up with fake kitty poo next year!

But, seriously, aren't kitties more mature? We don't fall for, or pull April fools. .. except for the cocoa bit, that was funny!
Oh yeah, another April Fool's joke, but it didn't seem to faze Mistress, but it kinda freaked me out. Early yesterday morning, they pulled something in the building and it made what Squeakers used to call "That whoop whoop noise." No, she used to call it "That whOOP whOOP noise!" That's what it sounds like too! I didn't like it at all! It disrupted a purrfectly good catnap! Mistress just said they were testing the sprinklers and fire alarms in the building. .. which, I suppose explained why she didn't run out the door! At least it didn't last long.

BOYCOTT HALLMARK CHANNEL!!!!!

Okay, this is from the Mistress, and when she's not happy, I'm not happy!!
I'm sorry it doesn't really have anything to do with kitty stuff.
Mistress got up later than usual this Monday morning, turned on the tube, she likes to start her day off with Step by Step, All in the Family and Little House On the Prairie, but like I said, she overslept.
When she did get to the TV, she found I Love Lucy on Hallmark Channel instead of Little House. She shrugged and thought "Okay, whatever, I miss Lucy anyway, they only usually have it on at either really early or really late." She checked the guide and found out that Little House would no longer be on Hallmark Channel!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, okay, I admit, and she admits that she does watch a little too much TV, especially since she lost her job, but she doesn't just sit there and stare at it, she gets breakfast, gets her emails, sometimes she reads, studies her Vet Assistant books, but mostly she has it on for noise and company.
And what better company than a wholesome two hours of Michael Landon?
Before, they had four hours of Little House on Hallmark, one at 9:00, one at 10:00, one at 2:00 and one at 3:00. Then since cable has shifted a bit and some cable companies don't offer TVLand anymore, they took it off TVLand. Oh well. Whatever. Even when Mistress worked, she finished her morning ritual with LHOTP!
Hey, 20 minutes of the show before a stressful day is better than nothing!
Then when she got laid off, the show was perfect to watch. There are some episodes she'd rather not watch, but she just left it on for noise anyway!
Now, they took I Love Lucy off of TVLand, that was INSANE!!!! but like I said, some cable companies don't offer TVLand anymore. Okay, so they put it on Hallmark. Okay, well, Lucy is kind of a Hallmark-y show cuz it's a very memorable show. I dare ya to find one person who hasn't seen all episodes, or even heard about the show!
Okay, so they took one Little House off the lineup. It was kinda odd, but still, three hours a day is just fine.
Then, cable companies were taking Lifetime off their offered channels (unthinkable!) so I guess Hallmark offered to put Golden Girls on their lineup.
Mistress loves Golden Girls too, and so does her friend Jennifer, and lots of women, men too! But it is NOT a Hallmark-y show! Hallmarky shows are: The Waltons, 7th Heaven, Murder She Wrote, Highway to Heaven, Touched By An Angel, even M*A*S*H and Little House! Plus the umpteen wonderful, heart-wrenching movies they play.
But Golden Girls? With talk of s*x and inuendos and stuff like that on a family channel?
I don't think so!!
What is happening to TV today? So many sick and twisted shows are on now, and I'm not saying Golden Girls is, Mistress loves it! But the shows they have on TVLand now. .. TVLand, that used to be as wholesome as blueberry pie! They now have 3rd Rock From the Sun, High School Confidential? and CSI NY??? And now Hallmark Channel? Playing sitcoms .. .sitcoms that many many people, including my Mistress enjoy, but still, when they take off the wholesome shows like The Waltons and Little House on the Prairie and put in hours, and too many hours, too, of Golden Girls and M*A*S*H (which, I'm sure is a very good show in it's own right), it means even Cable TV is going south. Where you can't even get your daily dose of Michael Landon, and I'm not talking Bonanza either!! What is this world coming to? What will the kids watch? Sex? violence? Sitcoms and dramas that don't give you that "touchy-feely good feeling" at the end are going. .. going. .. almost gone!
Mistress is glad that at least she has all the Little House's on DVD. She is now boycotting the Hallmark Channel, I think a lot of people are, because Hallmark just isn't Hallmark without Little House. If your humans feel the same way .. . then come with us and
BOYCOTT HALLMARK!!!!!!
Now, some people might think "Oh, it's only TV" or "Oh, I've got all the episodes on DVD anyway and it'll be nice to see them without the commercials" or "Oh, you're just making a big deal about nothing."
Well, maybe so. .. . but if you feel passionately about something. . .whatever it is, STICK WITH IT THROUGH THICK AND THIN!!! Like Mistress also feels that way about animals and becoming a Vet Assistant, about taking care of herself and me independantly. .. etc.

What the. . .. ?

Okay, so, my food bowl is gone, so is my water bowl!
So is my cute little paw mat, the garbage can, the "I dreamt my dishes were done" mat for Mistress to stand on while she gets back to reality and actually does her dishes, my food storage thing, plus the extra bags of food that I'm always trying to tip over, and even Squeakers' old kidney food storage thing is gone!
WHAT THE. .. .?
Then I saw them, they were all scattered around the living room? I don't get it.
Then Mistress started pushing this sponge on a stick around the kitchen and while she did that, she dipped it into an ooky thing of water and pushed it around some more!
Humans. . .but, whatever opens their tuna cans, I guess.
But it interupted the happy flow of things! She did it in the bathroom too!
I mean (and for what you were thinking, shame on you!) she moved my litterbox, and the rugs it was on top of, and everything else that I don't care about out, and she pushed that thing around and got all the ooky stuff out from under my box (phew) and all her ooky old hair and my ooky old hair, and even Squeakers' ooky old hair (yeah, she isn't a great housekeeper) from the shower drain.
Like they say in that commercial: Eeeeeeuuuuwww!!
But did she have to uproot my happy existance?
*sigh* I guess so
Mistress said some guys called Inspectors may come in tomorrow and check some apartments at random, she says it may be ours, it may not.
Any which way, I be hiding!
So at least my food is back to where it belongs, so is everything else I can poop into or cheekrub.
It better stay that way!

The Chase is On!

"One day or another I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha!"
Not if I can help it!
Mistress keeps following me around, singing that song and chasing me!
Sorry, poor dumb human, I'm faster and more agile, even at my age!
I don't know what she wants with me anyway, but I don't wanna find out! Maybe she wants to practice finding and naming my bones (she is studying to be a Vet Assistant and her latest test was on the Skeletal and Muscular system, she got an 88%!)
Do I look like a specimen? I am to be petted, not practiced on!
So I chased her around the table, she almost got me, but I slipped under a chair, she couldn't fit. I even went behind the sofa, one of my first and favorite hiding spots from long ago. . .okay, so not that long ago, almost two years ago.
I think it's safe to come out now, though, it doesn't look like she's gonna be chasin' me around much more tonight.
Phew! I think I still might keep my distance though!

Today was the last day of winter! YAAAAAAAAAY!! Although someone said something about snow next Thursday.
Ah, who cares? I stay inside anyway.
Another kitty was brought up to the Rainbow Bridge today,(above) he was just 10 days old and not even a full pound in weight, his mama gave birth to him, that's true, but then just ignored him, so the human had to feed him manually for 10 days, but it just didn't work, he was too small and dehydrated, going thru weight loss with diarrhea and even though the human tried her hardest by keeping him warm with a hot water bottle and a plug-in warmer in a carrier, and feeding him KRM (Kitten Replacement Milk) and making several trips to the vet, the poor little trouper just didn't make it, along with the rest of the litter who were stillborn.

For a better, and more interesting rendition of this poor kitty's fate: http://www.catster.com/cats/642754/diary/Sweet_and_sassy

Springtime is Near!

And it's really hitting me!
I wanna play!
I wanna play tricks on my human!
I wanna meow in the middle of the night!
A toy mouse is my best friend! Any and every mouse that I thought was so dumb before is fun to play with!
1 AM is The time to play!
Humans just get in the way of my mouse raceway! And when a mousie is hiding under something, she says "Ohhh! Did you lose your mousie? I'll get it for you!" Nooooo! That's not how it's supposed to work! I'm supposed to find it and dig it out, even if it means tipping over furniture!
Everything is my toy!
And. . did I mention .. . I Wanna Play!
Maybe cuz it's so cold in here right now, I have to play to stay warm? Nah, I just wanna play!
Oh. .. Look at the time! It's time for another Mouse Race! Squeakers has her mouse races up at the Bridge and I have mine down here!
Gotta go! Heeeere Mousie Mousie Mousie! I'm coming to get yoooooou!

Sandyball!

Left is Tabby, the cat on Catster *mentioned in entry below* who is having her second Rainbow Bridge Anniversary today, she was one of the oh-so many victims of the Menu Foods recalls.

The center picture is yours truly. Taking a very nice nap. Mistress wonders why I couldn't have done that at 1:30 this morning instead of meowing and kicking around my little green mouse. Oh that poor mouse!

Mistress was on the phone and she looked over and she saw me, but I was sound asleep! But she couldn't tell where my face was, it was all snuggled in, which should've given her a clue, like a Do Not Disturb sign, but NOOOOOO! She had to get the camera out!

But that didn't disturb me. No, she snapped a few pictures and I slept on. But for while I just kept sleeping and sleeping, all nice in a ball, but could she leave me that way?

Heck no! She said "Sandy?" and stuck her cold fingers under the ball and found my chin and woke me up!

How RUDE!!

Let sleeping cats lie, I say!

Then, when she was assured that I was okay, she tried to put me back in a ball! But it didn't matter, she disturbed me! You can't change that!

So I got up and had something to eat, and while I was munching, I was plotting. Planning what I will do to her when she wants to go to sleep tonight!

I don't think I'll ever sleep in a full ball-shape again. Mistress said it was cute, but I think it's too cute.

Midnight Meowings

Some time after Mistress went to bed, I got the urge to play! So I got up and there was a purrrfect green mousie on the floor. . .purrfect for Pre-Saint Patrick's Day play, so I hit it around a bit and I was having a blast! And then. ..
He disappeared!
I meowed and meowed and well, gosh darnit! He didn't come back, and all the meowing woke Mistress up! She got worried and she said "Sandy? Is there anything wrong? Are you sick? Oh no!"
Chill! I mean, I knew she was the nervous type, but I didn't realize it was that bad! Then she checked me out and she saw that I wasn't sick or hurt or anything, so then she said "What's wrong? Why don't you just come to bed, and we'll all get some sleep, and you can be quiet. .. "
I don't get her. At first she actually wanted me to talk! Who cares if it's 1:30 AM or PM? We kitties have no concept of time!
I let her carry me back to the bed, but as soon as she crawled back in, I jumped off and went looking for my little green friend.
All Mistress and I found this morning was a tuft of green on the floor!
My little friend is. . .. dead? But he's green! He's Irish, what happened to the Luck of the Irish?
Well I didn't kill him!

Anyway, celebrating a two-month Bridge anniversary today is Tabby. She's a friend of Squeakers on Catster, and she was a victim of Menu Foods' pet-food recall. Please purr for her family, who, I'm sure is having a rough day. There is a Life party for her all day on Catster, to celebrate her oh-so short life.

The Shower Meower

HAHAHA!
I scared my Mistress yet again!
She was standing under the water, she usually croons a dumb ole song when she's doing that, she says the acoustics are awesome and makes her sound good!
Those acoustics must be awesome . .. whatever acoustics are.
But this time she wasn't singing and she was quiet. I was worried cuz I thought something was wrong, like someone (invisible?) was trying to Furminate her! I stood by the door and started to meow. She thought she heard some meows, but then she shrugged it off, she thought it was the TV which she left on, or an ambulance driving by (the hospital is less than a mile away, plus at this place, the ambulance comes by more than kids do!)
As soon as she turned off the water, though, she realized it was me!
Duh!
She came out, all dripping wet and said "Sandy? Is there something wrong? Oh, what's wrong?" Women! They are great worriers, but very annoying! She even picked me up when she had nothing but a towel on!
Eeeeeuuuuuuwwwww!!!
She made sure I wasn't choking or anything, then went back in and closed the door, so I meowed again, and again!
She kept opening the door and looking at me
She finally came out. .. fully clothed, thank goodness and checked me out and made sure I was all right.
Why wouldn't I be?
Then she said to her friend Jen when she called "I swear, Sandy's starting to act as weird as Squeakers used to!
AHHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOO!!!
I do NOT wanna act like that freak. .. er, may she rest in peace, NO WAY!
Next time Mistress promised she'd sing in the shower, to put my mind at ease.
That helps my mind, but not my ears!!

The Saga of the Food Bowl Continues. . .

Okay, so I'm a finicky old cat! Sue me!
I did like the higher food bowl. .. for about a half hour
Then I hated it, it was weird and it was too high!
Mistress kept playing tricks to get me to eat, like hand-feeding me, and giving me Squeakers' old kidney food, etc.
I would eat too, but not much.
finally, just before she called the vet in panic, she washed my dish!
Duh!
We kitties are clean, for Pete's sake, we like clean litterboxes and clean food bowls!
Now, I'm not saying my bowl was full of dried food and slobber, but it just needed to be cleaned, that's all!
And for days I've been following her to my food bowl, like I'm hungry. . .and I am, and meowing at her, humans are so sloooooooowwwww!
I also put her into close-to cardiac arrest last night! What fun!
It was kinda dry in here, so I made a noise with my throat, her back was turned, so I went and batted at something she had on the floor, she said it sounded like I was choking, so she yelled "SANDY!!" which really scared me, so I ran!
She chased me and I kept running and she kept saying "I just want to look at you!" but I wouldn't. Finally, when she calemed down, she turned around and I was lying, all comfy on the couch!

The FURMINATOR!

No, Arnold Schwartzenegger is not in this movie!
Mistress decided to Furminate me this morning!
She dragged me into the bathroom, closed the door, sat down with me and went to town with that thing, and WOW!
There was fur, fur EVERYWHERE!!
She was smart this time and actually wore an old shirt, but no pants *covers her mouth* Oops, was I not supposed to say that?
But the fur got all over her, me, the floor, and some landed on the sink and cabinet! She really took a lot of hair off.
The phone rang during this whole ordeal, but she couldn't answer it cuz she was covered in what she calls Sandyfur!
I was a good girl, I tolerated it, until she started in on my legs and tummy. Now, I don't mind if she pets my tummy, but that Furminator is not welcome to touch it!!
Finally she spanked my fanny. . .that's what she calls it. .. .but actually it's getting all the fur off me before she sets me free. But this time she had to spank her fanny too, cuz some stray fur wound up on her bottom! *puts paw over mouth again*
Oopsie .. .sorry Mistress!
No I'm not, it was really funny!
Then she gave me some treats, saying that I deserved them. .. you bet I did! That was pure torture!
Then she had to sweep up the Sandyfur. .. lots and lots of Sandyfur!
Am I bald now, I wonder?
Cuz she said "Wow Sandy, there's so much fur here I could build another cat!"
Then she got the vacuum out. Squeakers was afraid of it before, but I am not. I think my former owner used to vacuum a lot. It doesn't phase me any.
Now I feel cleaner, and ten pounds lighter *giggles*
But I still don't like that Furminator thing! I wish Arnold Schwarzenegger would take it away. .. or anybody!
Also, Mistress noticed this after Furminating me. . .I look darker without my topcoat! Jen Furminates both Twinkie and Lyndi at least once a week! and outside too! Mistress tried to do it outside, but she didn't want the neighbors to think she was murdering me, cuz I really put up a fuss!

The Bottom of the Food Bowl

I hate to say it, but my human can sometimes be actually smart!
Lately I haven't been eating quite as much as I used to, so Mistress started to worry, cuz that's how it started with Squeakers, first she didn't eat much, then she didn't eat at all, then Mistress found out it was a kidney problem, then she was put on meds, then Squeakers ate again, but before she went to the Bridge, she didn't eat at all again!
But that doesn't mean I have a kidney problem!
It just means I am old, okay, I admit it, I am getting up there in age! My bones are getting a little creaky. It sometimes is hard to bend all the way down to eat, oh I can eat, but to get the last few yuumy morsels in my dish, sometimes is verry hard.
Mistress even thought of putting me on my old cat food, the one I ate before I came to live with her. She didn't like buying a generic food like Alley Cat but I was thrilled to see my old food again!
But still, it didn't work. I refused to eat the food on the bottom of the bowl.
So, I guess, a light went on in her head ( I hope not, that's dangerous!) and she put my dish on top of Squeakers' old dish, she upturned it and put it on the mat, and put my dish on top! She did that with my water dish too! I like it alot
Now I can actually see the bottom of the food bowl again!

Sparks!

I must be sizzlin' today!
It seems that whenever my Mistress pets me, sparks come out of my fur!
It doesn't feel all that great either. It kinda feels weird like I should run, and I start to, but then the feeling goes away!
How weird! I don't think I like it.
I mean, I want Mistress to pet me, I like it, no, I love it! I love all the attention, cuz most of the day I'm sleeping and she's doing something else in the living room and I'm all curled up in my bed, so when I see her, I wanna be petted!
But not if I get these shocks and sparks come outta my fur! Yucko!
I asked Mistress why this happens, and she said cuz it's still winter and the air is so dry.
Well, yes, we got snow on Thursday, lots of snow, but it's staying lighter longer so. .. why does winter have to last so long??!!
She says she has to get something called a humidifier so it won't be so dry.
Now, wait a minute! I don't want anything with FIRE near me!
She just laughed and said it's purrty complicated. Sounds easy, but scary to me!
I guess I'd rather have a few sparks now and then, then something with fire!

Today would've been Squeakers' sixth birthday. Mistress really kinda misses her. I need to knead her some more. . .I like to do it, she likes when I do it, and she makes this noise like "Mmmmmmmmmmmm!" It's a happy mmmmmmm sound too! I guess I better get my paws moving. .. oh the life of a furry masseuse!

Making lists are fun!

• I am spry today
• So is Mistress
• I don't know what spry is
• It's snowing outside
• We've been expecting this snow for a couple days now. They even closed schools for this and they say it could be as much as 6 to 8, or 4-8 inches!
• Bella, the cat that belongs to Mistress' aunt, wasn't peeing
• Mistress' aunt has the same name as I do. . .Sandy
• Human Sandy was really worried about Bella. She took her to the vet on Monday
• The vet said it could be one of three things: Bladder infection, kidney stones, something else that Mistress can't remember.
• It turned out to be something called "Sterile Cystitis"
• Sterile Cystitis is the same thing as a Urinary Tract Infection in humans.
• Bella will be okay in a few days.
• I haven't blogged in 9 days
• But I put out two entries today!
• Squeakers, my Bridge sister has a birthday on Saturday the 28th
• She would've been six.
• Mistress really misses her.

The Big Bad Kneader Has Returned!

I guess lately I've been really lazy. . . but then, so has Mistress!
Sometimes I think she'd make a great cat!
But anyway, Mistress found out what was wrong with her, and stopped doing it, whatever it was, so she had more energy. . . for awhile.
Then yesterday she kept saying "Ooooh my leeeeeegs! Ooooh my baaaaaack!" she went to that workout place for the first time in months. . .if that workout place makes you cranky and tired and and sore, well, I'll stay home, thank you!
She felt that way too, yesterday.
I was in the bedroom most of yesterday, all curled up in my Morgan's bed, and she was all curled up on the sofa, with a book. I didn't see her for more than a half an hour.
So when she finally came to bed, I got happy!
I followed her, back and forth from the bedroom to the bathroom, and then when she got into bed, I hesitated, but then I hopped up on the bed. She was lying on her tummy, which is kinda weird, yes, she likes to lie on her tummy, or her side, actually, but when she first gets into bed, she lies on her back and I lie on her tummy or her legs, until, in the middle of the night she kicks me off in her sleep!
So I went up to where her head was and I gave her some headbonks and purrs. She didn't stir much, so I gave her some more headbonks and purrs. A hand came shooting up out from the covers and she petted me.
But that wasn't what I wanted!
So I walked on her. Back and forth and back and forth on her back. At first, she groaned and then she made some happy noises, so I stopped, and I started to knead.
More happy noises.
Then after awhile, I stopped, so another hand came shooting out from the covers and she grabbed me!
Ya gotta watch out for those shooting hands!
But then she smooshed me up against her and she said "Thank you Sandy!"
For what?
Today, we both slept in a bit. But when we got up, I decided to follow her around, even on her desk, which, since the monitor came, is off limits!
In fact, I just moved her mouse, and she said "Hey!"
But I just want to spend more time with her! And I wanna see what's in that box she keeps dipping into!
She says it's cereal, but I don't buy it!
She said "Wow Sandy, you're really spry today! What got into you?"
I don't know, and I don't know what spry is, but I just checked out her secret box on the desk. . .. it really is cereal!

My Human is Trying to Be A Cat!

And she's doing a really bad job of it too! Talk about being a second, or fifteenth, rate cat!
Before, she was actually meowing at me, I think cuz I was meowing at her! Finally, I stopped meowing cuz I wanted her to SHADDUP!
Then, she said her back was a little stiff. Waah waah! What am I supposed to do about it? I knead fronts and sides, not backs! So I had been laying down for a while, and I am an old cat, no matter how ya slice it, so I stretched, very gracefully, I might say.
She saw that and she said "Hmm, that might work for me too!" So she grabbed the arm of the rocking chair thing and put one leg up and stretched her back leg down as far as it would go. I think it was a pathetic attempt, but she said she's only human. Then she went and did it with the other leg, still pathetic.
Then she said "Ahh! That feels better! Now I know why everybody wants to be a cat!"
Too funny I furgot to laugh!
She makes an awful cat. Cats are graceful, she isn't. Cats are sleek, she isn't. Most cats can sing operas, she can't .. .she can't even sing rock 'n'roll or the score to The Sound of Mewsic!

Goodbye Scootie Patootie!

The world lost another wonderful kitty today. Scooter, a 20-year-old femal cat on Catster left for the Rainbow Bridge after so many health problems for the past 3-4 years. Everyone was thrilled that she even made it to 20. But it's been a hard few months for her and her pawrents, and of course, the last few days were the hardest, she refused to eat, even her favorite; baby food, and she pretty much stayed in one spot and slept, today they put her to sleep and she is off to the Rainbow Bridge and almost all of Catster is mourning.

Scooter will definitely enjoy the Bridge though, it's just her style.

Farewell sweet kitty! *blows a kiss*

Twistie Ties: The Cheapest and Funnest Toys Ever!

I don't know why, but there was sonething on the floor, I guess cuz my Mistress can't see as well as some, she misses things.
So I just had to kick it!
And it moved!
Wowee!
I kicked it all over the floor, then it disappeared! Where, oh where did it go?
Mistress heard me batting something around, and she saw me looking in one particular spot, so she found it and said "This? Is this what you were playing with? "
Then she called it a Twistie tie!
It has a name!
I've heard that some cats play with milk rings, there's even a Milk Ring Hockey League (MRHL) on Catster! And Squeakers liked to play with dirty q-tips (Euuuwwwww!!) But above all, these twistie tie things are the best!
So I kicked it some more, and it went and hid on me! Darn little @!&*@!
Mistress tried to help me find it, but she couldn't find it either, she said she hopes it doesn't break her vacuum cleaner belt the next time she runs that growlly monster!
So she did me a favor, she took another one out of the kitchen drawer, but she told me not to swallow it, she doesn't wanna rush me to the emergivet!
I don't wanna be careful! And I don't wanna go to the place she calls emergivet *emergency vet*
I Wanna Play!!
And if milk rings are just as fun, I didn't really care for them before, then I might be joining that team! They should have a Twistie Tie Team!

Cleaning Day

Cleaning day? What a mess!
It all started last night, Mistress had been watching another I Love Lucy marathon! I swear, it's the second one in a month, and this one lasted at least sixteen hours. .. or one nap for me! She also switched back and forth to the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet. While she was doing all that sitting, instead of eating I had her do me a favor and get her fingers moving, she let me go to a Super Bowl/birthday party at the Late Late Show on Catster. Well, back and forth we went, Lucy, Puppy Bowl (along with the cute Kitty Half-time sponsored by Bissell) and the party, and at the end of the party, Mistress had Squeakers, my angel sister, play the violin for the birthday cat and his girlkit. To understand all this, you'd have to be in the Catster crowd, or furmiliar with it, otherwise it sounds funny.
Anyway, while all that was going on, she remembered a card that her Gram made for her one year for her birthday, a picture of her in a sexy costume on a stage, with Squeakers next to her playing the violin! Gram likes to cut pics out of magazines and paste the heads pics of friends and family on them and she makes great cards. So anyway, Mistress was ripping the place apart looking for that card, she just did some cleaning last month and put some things in a different area, and of course, she couldn't remember where she put it!
Humans!
It wasn't just that card, it was alot of other cards too. After ripping the bedroom and some of the living room apart, her aunt from Dallas called
She just celebrated a birthday on Saturday too! Happy Birthday Aunt Irene. .. even though I've never met you.
Anyway, while she was talking to her, all of a sudden the light popped up in her head, I wonder if that really happens? And she found the card! It was in a basket on the kitchen table. .. duh! The card was the first one she saw, with Squeakers playing the violin.
After she got off the phone, and put the apartment back together, almost, she decided to record the Puppy Bowl, they had been repeating it all day, and after that, she sat down and looked at Squeakers pic and started to leak, major flood.
Then she sat and held Squeakers' urn for awhile, she even showed it to me. We snuggled for a long time, and I put the warm fuzzies back in her. .. what does she need with that Squeakers anyway?
So today, she started picking up some more mess, and scrubbing. I stayed out of her way until she got into the hall closet where the food can go, but she hadn't put it there lately, it had all been on the counter. So then she got crazy cleaning up that closet, and put the food back in there. .. the counter looks nice and empty now! she also had six boxes of Butterfinger cocoa *long story* and she got that all straightened out, but then she got up on a stool and stuff came shooting out from the top shelf! Wrapping paper, toilet paper, a lampshade, my tomb *carrier* Pow pow pow pow!
Wow!
I just had to watch that, although when the tomb came out I kinda backed away. I can't believe she kinda reorganized everything, threw a lot of stuff out, then she put the tomb away *phew!* and found Squeakers' old tomb and put it on top of mine. She has a spare vacuum and she wants to get rid of it, downstairs there is a free table, so she's going to take it down there, along with some other stuff, including the lampshade.
I'm glad she wasn't hurt,I had to make sure she was okay, she didn't fall or anything, but that stuff just came shooting down so fast! I gave her a few cheekrubs to make sure she was okay.
Then she took away my scratchy thing! For awhile she had a piece of old cardboard on the floor, I guess she has to break up old cardboard boxes and bring them down to be recycled, so while she was waiting for that, that cardboard was my toy!
She also took my Fancy Feast box away!
I'm not sure if I like this cleaning stuff, oh it looks nice when it's done, but you have to say goodbye to a lot of stuff!

Even though Mistress was tired the other day, she didn't sleep well the night before, she made me beautiful! Although, that wasn't a fantastic feat, I am already beautiful! But she insisted. So, I got a brushing and an ear cleaning, of course, I shook most of the stuff out of my ears!

But I must say, I did look beeyooteefull! *second pic*

And after that, I laid down and took a nap, and she put a quilt over me and I took a nice long snooze! *top pic*

Rainbow goes to the Rainbow Bridge

This is Rainbow, she's a cat on Catster http://www.catster.com/cats/271949. When Squeakers first knew her, her and her sister Sunshine, along with her human family lived in the United States. Rainbow once told Squeakers that her mommy was 19, and was homeschooled because she was autistic. Squeakers doesn't remember, but sometime after that, the whole family moved to a city just outside of Iraq.

Back in March, we found out that poor Rainbow had cancer, and her health was going downhill, but for awhile she was doing better. Unfortunately she got much worse and the family set the date of last night, January 28th, actually it was morning for us in the US, for poor Rainbow to be euthanized.

We at Catster will all miss her, and so will her family, but she will be welcomed up at the Rainbow Bridge.

Even though she is tortoiseshell, she does remind me of Squeakers. Well, now those two can get into trouble up at the Bridge.

Have fun you two! *blows goodbye kiss*

It's My Meower and I Can Meow If I Want To!

So, Mistress goes away for the night on Thursday, came home on Friday and we didn't really spend a whole lot of time together. Then yesterday, after keeping me up almost all night she left almost as soon as she got up, and she was gone almost all day!
And she wonders why I meow so much?
She says "Sandy? What's whrong? You have food, you might need more water *so she refreshes my water, that was nice, gave me more food, that was really nice * What are you meowing about?"
Um, I don't know, maybe I just want your attention? Duh!
Then she has the nerve to imitate me!
I say a nice little meezer Meow
She says a cranky-old-human-sounding "Mrow!"
That's not how I sound! I know how I sound, and I may sound kinda old and meezer-like, and I don't sound cute and squeaky like dearly-departed Squeakers, but I do not sound like a cranky old human!
*sigh* But she says I do.
And maybe, just maybe, I wanted to spend some time with her!
Although, I wouldn't admit it to her and I'm not exactly why I wanted to spend time with her now anyway. ..
Okay! Maybe I am turning into the "Crotchety Old Cat" she calls me! but I am going to go fighting!
I have food, I have water, my box has just been cleaned, I've recently spent some time with Mistress, but I'm gonna keep sounding cranky anyway, not much, you see. Not enough to bother her, just enough to make her think she needs to do something for me or to me or with me! *evil laugh*
Thank you Squeakers, for all these wonderful tricks you gave me to pull on our human!

Amazing Pet Tricks

Lyndi can lick her nose! Happy 8th Birthday Lyndi!

Daily Diary Pick!

Here's me with that dang balloon on my back!

Yaaaaay!!!

My diary entry about Mistress' weird nocturnal habits and the balloon was chosen one of the Daily Diary Pick on Catster today! Thanks to Mistress for typing it for me, and for having insomnia, thanks to Toulouse and my Catster Twin, Chai-Latte Capone for the cup of cocoa gift and the pink rosette, and to my new friends on Catster.

If any kitty reading this who isn't on Catster, I'm sorry if this is confusing to you, but maybe you'll want to join the Catster community now? Cuz it is fun!

Oh, and I entered my sis Squeakers in the Best Fursibling of the Year contest! Not because I liked her, well, okay, maybe I did sort of like her, but now that she's gone. .. well, I kinda miss fighting with her! Why, I have no one to wrestle with!

And Happy 8th Birthday to Lyndi, she's a guide dog that helps a friend of Mistress', Jen. Mistress likes her too. She's fun, friendly and playful and sweet, that's what her name means, Lyndisima = Most Sweetest, I hide from her, but Squeakers used to like to play with her, and Squeakers helped Lyndi with her fear of cats!

Her Dogster badge is on the right column if you want to visit her page.

Stay warm everykitty, it's cold out there!

The Weird Nocturnal Doings of My Human

Today Mistress told me it is -30! That's 30 below zero!
And still she went out. Humans can be so dumb!
I'm glad, no, thrilled that I have fur, and that I never ever go out! Poor Lyndi, the guide dog (not that I like her, mind you) she had to go out with Jen, Mistress' friend and Mistress.
Oh well, as long as she doesn't live here
Sunday night it was warm, and everyone seemed all snug in their beds, but not Mistress! She got to bed, and I got on and laid on her legs. She let me for a while, then almost THREW me off! But still she couldn't sleep, which mean I couldn't sleep!
She turned a Leave It To Beaver disc on, and I guess Beaver, even though he looked nothing like a beaver! stimulated her too much, cuz all she did was sleep for about one Beaver show and then woke up again!
Then you won't believe this!
She went in the treat drawer, but not for treats for me. . .oh NOOOO! She got a water balloon! she didn't fill it with water, but she blew it up and bat it around and it even stuck on top of a picture on her wall!
Whooooooaaaa!!! That was amazing!
Then she took her white cane and whacked it, without breaking it, off the picture and put it on my back, and do you know what?
I bet you'll never guess!
It stuck to my back!
Even after I started walking away, it moved a bit, but stuck to my back!
At first I thought it dumb that Mistress was up all night cuz she couldn't sleep, I never have that problem, but once that balloon thing started, I wished we could do it every night!
Last night she insisted on sleeping though, she said she was incredibly tired.
Hmm, I wonder why?!
Try sleeping for 16-20 hours like me, you'll never be tired!

Don't Humans Ever Sleep?

I thought humans like to sleep! Well, not quite as much as us, but lately sleeping with Mistress has been heck on Earth!
First she goes to bed, lately it's been too late, but sometimes that's my fault. I keep her up late sometimes so she can type for me on Catster, I love to hang out at the Late Late Show.
But I can't be blamed for her insomnia the past few nights. The Nanny can! She puts that dang Nanny DVD into the portable DVD player and that dang nasal voice of Fran Drescher's keeps her awake and drives me NUTS!
First she gets into bed, like normal. Then she calls my name and I come and lay on her legs for awhile. Then she starts squirming and twitching and trying to get her legs back.
NO! THEY'RE MINE!
When she finally gets her legs back she starts flipping back and forth over and over again, gets up and gets water, comes back, climbs over me. .. at this point I'm still sleeping and in the middle of the bed so she has to climb over me to get back in bed!
Now it's about 2:30, Fran Drescher is still honkin' away, and Mistress is laughing at Niles' wit. Ah, if only we'd have a butler, hmm Mistress? When the disc is almost over, she falls asleep, then wakes back up to shut the machine up and go to her litterbox. Well, if you're gonna drink all that water. .. !
Usually she sleeps from 3:00 til ten during the weekends then. Yesterday though, she woke up at 7:30. We both heard a funny knocking noise. Nobody was at the door, and hopefully nobody was at the window! We're seven floors up! At first she thought it was me, but I am innocent! uh, yeah. So she laid around for awhile, and then actually got up! After a few minutes the knocking sound stopped.
She was tired yesterday, with all that knocking and tossing and turning and kitty throwing (well, she didn't throw me off, but if I didn't get off her legs she was considering it!) but she did do me a favor, she left me alone all day to sleep! Ahhhhh sleep!
She said she went out with her mother to see a movie Marley & Me about a bunch of Lyndi dogs, uh, I mean golden labs, well, there was supposedly one, but they used a lot of dogs in the making of that movie. Mistress says that the movie is really good, but to bring tissues for the end. She realy needed them too, but of course, didn't have them. It brought back a whole bunch of memories of last month when my sister Squeakers went to the Rainbow Bridge. So of course, she came home and hugged the heck out of me!
And then I let her go to bed early enough. When she got comfy she called my name and I came up and slept with her. There was no tossing, no turning, no water and no Nanny!
Phew!
But she did oversleep.

Lucy/Brady Overload!

Happy New Year to all kitties and their humans too!!
I hope no kitties got too drugged up on catnip! The same goes for humans and alcohol!
Know what I've been drugged up on?
No, not catnip! I wish!
Yesterday Mistress was watching a 12-hour marathon of I Love Lucy! At first it wasn't too bad, but after awhile I thought it would never end! First she has all 5 seasons, plus the Lucy/Desi Comedy Hour on DVD, then she has to watch two hours of it every day, NOW she's watching it for 12 hours?
Pathetic!
We didn't watch the ball drop on TV cuz she was watching a movie. Then we got a phone call at midnight! It was her aunt from Dallas, I guess, but it disrupted my comfy spot and my sleep!
Then today there was a 3-hour mini-marathon of Leave It To Beaver and a 6-hour marathon of Brady Bunch. I hid during most of that because it was a "Jan-themed" marathon, and if I hear that whiny "Marcia Marcia Marcia!" one more time I'm going into a coma!
Oh no! I heard there's another Lucy marathon tomorrow on the Hallmark channel!
Luckily Mistress will be at her grandma's house all day, because if I have to see that redhead one more time. . .*hacks up hairball*
Oh yes, everybody loves Lucy, but not me!